Wednesday, November 8

more


today i watched in silence as a star fell from the sky, as a leaf fell from the tree...as it gave up its life and descended. today i watched, helpless, not knowing the words to say, as a soul cried, as a boy died, as the world swept by, not giving a care or even a nod as a life was lost. today, i watched as Beauty faded away, as Life lost meaning, as Man failed. today, i watched, as a stranger to this sadness, i watched and i didn't know what to say to them, because they could never understand... today i watched as i was helpless, my words powerless in the face of humans and their way of knowing that they know best... today, i watched, helpless, and so very sad. joy... is not the absence of pain, but the presence of God.

Thursday, November 2

the gentle whisper

halloweeners


so after that pensivity, i've realised that.... the ipod is ruining my life! as much as i love the long walk home, i love missing the last bus and i love losing myself, i also love the sound of my thoughts, and i really love speaking to God...
soo.. on my walk home tonight, facing the silence of the winter night boldly, i realised that slowing down is utterly essential to my being a better person. yes.. you could say God has been trying to tell me that of late...

"The LORD said, 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.' Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. " - 1 kings: 11-13

achilles tendon

the combined effect of Medicine and Immunity in Health and Disease has the corollary of robbing me of my conversational skills, my vocabulary and my creativity. the limits of the human mind in terms of delving into different subjects is evident of late. spreading out = lack of depth = a jack of all traits and a master of none. but hyperfocusing (the direction i seem to be headed) has left me with little to say about other aspects of Life. (which contributes to the paucity of blog entries of late)

of note was the case study of the one time i deviated from my usual west end / city centre hangouts and ventured into the wild realms of greater glasgow... that day just utterly threw me off.. i was struck, so much by the randomness of the place, the novelty of taking a public bus in the middle of the night, the thickness of the working class accent, the sight of the teenage mum pushing her child in a pram, the druggie stumbling along the path, a dwelling that was not a student flat! my goodness... i balked at my naivete! i was never so dissociated that i actually FORGOT what the rest of the world was like.. damnnit, i need a holiday.... and non-medic friends, and time to relax and see the big picture, to listen, to speak less, to refresh my eyes... i hate going round in circles..
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

anyhow, halloween and trick or treating was great fun like... cheap wine + non-medics + heavy metal music + crazy costumes = a merry, merry night.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

a tribute:

kenneth and xiaoling-

the lovely people who delivered the doughy goodness of a krispy kreme all the way from london to me. i'm sorry, i know i was meant to take a photo of it before eating it...

ivanna-

the lovely lady who turns 21 today!

Wednesday, October 25

army of me

*deep breath* wow. where do i start??? there are several reasons that orchestrated my being able to blog today. firstly, my class was cancelled this afternoon, and i only found out when i was at the outpatient reception. secondly, i am finally myself again after a protracted, at times unbearable, week or so, because i got 7 hours of sleep last night. thirdly, the arrival of a blogworthy event : i'm going to get my hair cut soooon. pardon le narcissism. fourthly, the unexpected protracted visit of an italian musician has left me too relaxed to want to delve into 'immunity and beyond' just yet...

also of note.. the cutest mittens in the world are in town... i now have the urge to dissect anything with fur.... i'm totally loving autumn.

Sunday, October 15

medicine men

so despite the fact that i should be blogging about more ecclesiastical things, the little devil in me still can't forget the rapture of the sweet sweet conversation i had with my medicine men last thursday evening.

alas, it is true, as pointed out by my dear flatmate, Amy, that there are only so few 'cool' people in medicine. and i am soo utterly grateful to God for dropping these lovely men in my lap... for those of you who know my comings and goings in my wee university life, u know the two men of whom i speak of...

so anyway, it was such a respite from the new people and faces i meet in my new course.. the loveliness of familiarity, of unforgiving bitchiness unrestrained by the antiquated social-norms demanded by the sense of propriety required when meeting new people. so the merry three of us were reunited in the SL (study landscape) on that merry thursday evening, our insides acheing from all the giggling and laughing and utter taking the piss... oh my life in medicine is made so much merrier with these men...

also of note was my very stress-relieving time spent last night, post-Confident Christianity weekend, ensconced in the newly created niche that is my digital-tv-equipped kitchen, watching America's Next Top Model season 6 with Amy and being totally..... blase.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

on watching angelina jolie drop the last piece of the puzzle on a biplegic denzel washington and attempting to pick it up with a pair of tweezers in 'The Bone Collector'...

richard: do u know you can still get an erection if you have spinal injury? you just have to stroke the feet.

issaam: yeah, but doesn't that cause the urge to defaecate as well? kinda loses the mood, u know?

richard: yeah, but some people like that.

Thursday, October 12

sojourn

brilliant..

a more robust , all-out impressiveness and in one word, spectacular. 15 hours on and i'm still in recovery.

Sunday, October 8

attrition tears

you know that feeling that you need to jump out of your skin? when there's an inner something in you that needs to get out and needs to get out? i'm feeling like that right now. when i'm surrounded by all the things money can buy, all the friends and banter a university student in the uk can have, when work's piling up beyond what i can manage and deadlines are looming in the near and present future - when i've got ALL THE THINGS IN THE WORLD TO DO... i feel like there's not one of them that i feel like doing. that's how i'm feeling right now.

but what do you do when you want to burst, but there's noone lurking around to mop up all the pieces and sew you back together? absolutely
nothing. you keep it in, you wrap yourself up with another layer of woolly fleece, you sip up your peppermint tea and study the autumn away.

but all the trees will clap their hands...


  • and this is a typical day in the life of an intercalating student....


Monday 9/10

0900-1000 0900-1015 IHD Lecture (403) - Intro to Chemokines - G. Graham

1000-1100

1100-1200 1100-1215 IHD Lecture (403) -Neutrophils, Mononuclear Phagocytes - JAG

1200-1300





1400-1500 2-5 FRS (403) - Nature of Immunity & Immunopathology - M. Thomas

1500-1600

1600-1700

1700-1800 5-? Immunology students social 545-700 CMF meeting (Rob's flat)
1800-1900 630-10 girl's bible study (Gill's flat)
1900-2000
2000-2100
2100-2200

Thursday, September 28

statistical bias

so.. amidst studying statistics, carol took the opportunity of boredom to surf for her good old friend's band on myspace.... and found it! and laughed at their lyrics and was very entertained for a while... she also reminisced of how anachronistic her wee drive to tesco, maryhill earlier that day in her colleague's car was... full on 70-80s classics blasting throughout byres road, queen margaret drive and maryhill... pure funny like.. she also found this interesting piece of news:


speaking for herself : it has come to my attention that non-Christians (and Christians who aren't born-again (whatever your intepretation of that may be...)) complain a lot more than Christians.. it's something that makes sense when you think about it, but something i've just recently noticed. hmmmm...and so... i shall take this opportunity to tell all you complainers out there that...

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - Jesus


yup yup yuppers... meanwhile, here are some snapshots of fun-tastic Christian idiocy :




unfortunately, there has been the recent exodus of the above-photographed-good-ginger-man from the glasgow crowd... :( we'll misssss you simmooonnnnnnnnn!!!!! xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Monday, September 18

a life less ordinary

after running away from this for the last few months, i have finally realised, to my unease... that life is settling into mediocrity again. it's funny how my life as of now seems more ordinary than it has ever been in the last few years... studying in the library at night, carrying groceries back in the rain, grilled chicken breasts, cream cleansers for toilet tiles, housewife pillows, scaling ladders, changing lightbulbs, hanging out the laundry, furniture catalogues, social novels, cooking for one, kitchen conversations : i have become the one thing that i have feared most of becoming... but at the same time, it seems my resistance is futile.

Tuesday, September 12

dancing in the freedom we know

the uni today

bounce with me.. because it is one of those moments. sleeping with monkeys, going in the buff, detuning and retuning, driving to swedish soils, unravelling a curtain lady, flipping swatches, climbing, walking, waxing (lyrical about epithets, portmanteaus, metonymy and eponyms) jogging, cooking... and dancing (lots of dancing!)... maybe i'm too settled or maybe i'm lost, but really, i am just putting things in their place. As You open my eyes to the work of Your hands. For what is the point if we do not give thanks to God?

so, back in glasgow and recreating my niche! la la la la la la la la la la la*
(*to the sound of the music in ur heart)

Sunday, September 3

butter makes it better

i reckon i've drank more in the last week than i have in the last 6 months... like for example last night...



what else i've been doing in my remaining days left in singapore...

  • hanging out loads with the craziest bunch of girls...


shen! (who will be misrepresented by a hamster until she passes me her photos...)


junice... everyone loves a junice.


prissssssssss! i'll love you foreverr!!!!

  • skirting around a lot (and being terribly vain)

  • packing (not so fun)

  • eating butofcourse... because deep down inside there is a stomach.

  • disturbing the peace of every public place we're at...
these include : lavender street market, a spiritual-yoga-zen-themed cafe, the new NUS law faculty, Tampines basketball courts, etc...
  • playing silly drinking games (please click here for Lester's amazing drinking game!...and when i say here, i don't mean here.. or here.. or here..)
what can i sayyy... carol is living it up real hard with everyone here in singapore. what more can i ask for? great friends, great food, great banter. sleep? who has time for that.. (sharing a bed with two other people is not advisable.. especially when we go to sleep when the sun comes up) money? we thrive on a communism-based fraternity.. down to the last S$2... (right, pris?) medicine, law and our careers? (a good research team is based on their ability to hypothesize... and we have ours... *drumrolll........* 'The Right Hand is Slower than the Left'.)
it's okay if you don't get it. you're not meant to... you just had to be there...

Tuesday, August 29

the body of Christ

to seek You first and to love You and to be loved. to fall freely into the arms of grace that want to bless me more than I pray. alex, your want to prophesy for us in your penultimate prayer has culminated in the most Perfect blossoming in the most Perfect timing : His. for it has always been so, whether we had the eyes for it or not. acres of hope.. and we will sing together. :) i am allured.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33

Tuesday, August 22

home

i am home at last... and i've lost the will to blog... or eat, or sleep, or do anything productive.. now that the music has stopped, i've realised that :
a) i'm dark
b) i'm tired
c) the last 4 weeks seem like a dream.

 Posted by Picasa

 Posted by Picasa

 Posted by Picasa

Sunday, August 13

thai ways

while the rest of the world and life-as-i-knew-it toils on outside of china, the rest of banna relishes this sunny sunday.

finally in a web cafe with access to blogger somewhere in an internet cafe in xishaungbanna, or banna for short. life has been treating me rough. but not in an unenjoyable way... but more of a caked-in-mud, sun-burnt, sweaty, dirty, dearth-of-good-relaxation type of way.

since my last post a week ago, time has flown by ever so quickly. my english has deteriorated so very rapidly, so pardon my lack of embellishment. i shall say it all in simple, succinct sentences, ie chinese-style.

on tuesday (1/8) , the 3 of us left alex at the bus station, 3 of us teary-eyed and despondent, eyes blood-shot from the follies of the night before. then, on the most dreadful mode of transport known to china : the sleeper bus.. *shudder*, we took an 11 hour voyage, supine, from kunming to jinghong (capital of banna).


on wednesday (2/8)- thursday(3/8), we took another 2 buses to menghun, from which aiwendan came to pick us up in his jeep. aiwendan, an inspiring altruistic village doctor took us in for 2 nights at his home, where he taught us the experience and knowledge 10 years of being a village doctor has imparted him. it was here that i

  • rode on a motorcycle across the rice plains of banna, the sun setting in the distance, emerald hills in the yonder, eyes on the best scenery i have ever seen
  • reached the 'whatever' stage of consciousness where there is no longer fear of danger /death despite the perilous circumstances, while riding as a passenger on a motorcycle in pitch-black darkness, down a rocky stone-laid mountain path, headlights revealing only 2m ahead of us, travelling as fast as our china-brand motorcycle could take us.
  • hiked for 2 hours up to a pagoda, 1 hour of which was in tropical rain
  • did not bathe for 2 and a half days (post trek and motorcycle ride)

friday (4/8), we met up with a bo and team to set out to dadugang. after food-shopping in the bloodiest meat-market in the world. (think fats, guts, hearts, heads, ears of animals - skinned and unskinned astrew EVERYWHERE) we took a 2 hour long jeep ride (love em jeeps) to the tea planatation of mr fu. there, a team of 9 of us (mr fu + wife included) toiled for 3 hours in the hot sun digging trenches for his tea plants. (think mud, mud, rain, mud, muddier)we survived, sweaty, rain-drenched, muddy, muscles sore and sun-baked, and made it back to his humble hut for a meal prepared by a bo...

"HCl! HCl is there for a reason." - jo, on food preparation of the meal at mr fu's.

...will be in lijiang (see map) on thursday. more updates soon..+ photos to follow.


one man left behind... alex

the sleeper bus rules...

aiwendan's abode - home and village clinic

the labourer's work... mr fu's@ dadugang, outwith jinghong:
my muddiness.the kitchen.meat market.digging trenches.

Sunday, August 6

the city in the centre of the world

sitting in an internet cafe in kunming now... around me, i'm surrounded by chinese men shouting at each other, smoking pungent honghe brand cigarettes, spending their sunday afternoon playing internet games with each other...

yesterday was only the 2nd day i have been in kunming, the capital, since coming here to yunnan... we've been to 4 towns and 3 villages in these last 2 weeks, i can't remember the last time i had 8 hours of sleep and i can't remember the last time i wore clean clothes before yesterday... these last 2 weeks have been the the most memorable of my life. i have...

-helped clean a leper's sores
-brushed my teeth on a rooftop at 6am, over a bowl, to the sound of roosters, spitting out over the roof
-eaten twice the recommended servings of vegetables in a day for the last 2 weeks
-played basketball in a village
-inhaled an insane amount of second hand smoke
-spoken more chinese than i ever have since junior college
-shared a village meal with villagers
-touched a TB lymphadenopathy lump in a 7 year old girl who will not receive treatment in the near future
-dangled off the tops of cliffs in 4wd jeeps
-shared a bus with pigs under the seats, roosters on the roof and birds in the front
-attempted and practised handstands on rooftops and basketball courts
-heard the most amazing christian testimonies
-not spared an american endless hill-billy jokes and anti-american slander (all in good humour)
-bonded with 3 other christian chinese medics in a way i have never done so before...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
the four musketeers
deserve a whole blog entry on our own... me, a singaporean chinese, alex, a canadian chinese, weiyao, a malaysian chinese, and joanne, an australian chinese. despite only having met alex and jo 2 weeks ago, we are like 4 peas in a pod just now. it's crazy! together, we have.. helped translate classes for the village teachers, fought off deadly mosquitos and 2-inch-long-dung beetles, cockroaches and bees, been packed on china buses together, waded through mud, pushed broken down buses, hung out with lepers, ate yucky vegetables that taste of fish, suffered the aches of china toilets together, got drunk on bai2 jiu3, watched amazing sunsets, trekked through a cemetry, played one too many games of cards, etc etc....

so yes... china has been amazing.. at about the halfway-point of my travels. 2 more cities in the next 3 weeks.. updates to follow soon!

leprosy village, outwith jianshui

yaohe, alex and i with the village kids, sanchun, outside mojiang.