11:05

you're not the centre of the universe.

i can't forget your hands. acromegaly. i can't forget your voice. thyroid cartilage. i can't forget the pink butterfly on your nose. rosacea. i'm so tired. i can't forget your kindness. i can't forget your smile and your strength. will i be half as happy as you if i were in your wheelchair? this cannot be happening. your prideful smile, your 19th stone not hiding your dignity. your thoughtful wish. i can't forget. metabolic syndrome x. what is real is just a dream.

will i remember all this tomorrow?

rambling swiftly on

oh my word! (my new catch-phrase) i am so bored! i spent the whole day in my flat - all 10m x5m of it... i think i'm going insane.. insane in the brain... do u think i'm loco? yes, i think i'm loco...

anyhow... been trying to integrate this whole bacteria microbiology thing into my brain this whole afternoon... man am i such a nerd - i'm revising on things that i've revised twice before in medical school and at least 3 times before in jc... *pushes up glasses*

also watched "bodies" on bbc 3 today... it's a series about doctors in an english o and g ward. just corroborated the fact that i can't wait for the day i graduate and step into a hospital with a stethoscope around my neck, pony tail, grey tweed trousers and v-neck sweater, sensible black shoes and pen in my pocket... ahhh.. but it seems that time is getting further and further away... the sensible thing for me to do here in glasgow is to do an intercalated degree - which means a whole year extra of studying... which means i'll graduate a year older and i'll be behind my peers.. but still, it's the sensible thing to do...

winter is coming.. the sky's dark by 4 and the cold is biting... plus i'm peckish just 3 hours post-prandially..

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yes sarah! i'm ur ardent fan and i left a comment! and yes, i'll be back very soon my friend.. albeit only for 3 weeks effectively... so time will be of the essence... NC please! need my biannual dose! and meeting ur mom, dad, ur new house and no-longer-a-running-naked-boy-andrew-pang...
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quite an eventful week.. thought a placid saturday would solve it.. but i just remembered that not only am i a person who needs to be alone sometimes, i'm also a person who can't stand being bored at all.. arghs.. *twiddles thumbs* what do i do now??

FINALLY!

FINALLY some alone time for MEEEeeeee, myself and I ! *phew*
been being social-carol for the past 3 days and it's about time for me to just come home to an empty flat, chill, catch up on sleep, put on some massive attack, do the laundry, settle admin stuff, blog, catch up on life, re-run the past few days, see life in retrospect and wonder around in pj's...

flat's in quite a mess as well... chocolate on the carpet... clothes in a heap for ironing, notes from integration week and ssm still all over the place.. time for DOMESTIC CAROL to take over!!

meanwhile, just been meeting up with friends now that school's really started... always a good excuse for cook-outs and eating out... tried ichiban today for the first time! wooo hoo... and all without weiyao (his empty promises of taking me there)... did lunch with johan at ichiban today for what must have been months! he's got the most beautiful flat in glasgow i've ever been to.. but he's paying 3 times what i'm paying in rent! but his place's like a resort - high ceilings, rustic furniture, fire place, etc etc... but it's cool cos i'm always welcomed over! time to whip out my dvd collections and watch it on his mini-theatre!! woo hoo!

lunch was okay, but dinner last night was better! karl and weiyao cooked up a storm with crab noodles - leftover crab from long fung (a chinese restaurant)... but somehow whenever weiyao prepares a meal for us, it always spells disaster... the last time left me and kenneth highly diarrhoetic... this time, a piece of crab shell got stuck between kenny's teeth, leaving him in acute pain... and and AND... I made the ultimate sacrifice you can make for your friend... yup.. i did IT.. while weiyao has apathetically tucking into his noodles and karl was only willing to dig it up with a carving knife held in the most precarious position, i, carol the brave, stuck my finger into his throat to dig it up for him... don't think i've ever done that for anybody really... after which isaam promptly offered to help clean my finger with detergent.. haha..

karl+dinner.johan.isaam.dinner at karl's.weiyao+karl.guitar lessons with kenneth.kenneth+chicken.fighting over me!.karl+dinner.

it was all fun and good...

just too much testosterone for me in too short a time... i'm missing my singaporean girlfriends and my sold-his-soul-to-bloomberg-boyfriend... :( that's why if you're one of the above mentioned parties, you should immediately give me a call after you've read this... :p

sigh...i've almost forgotten how much i am a person who needs to be alone so much... heard 3 gunshot sounds this afternoon and there's been police sirens all over the place all afternoon.. it's much too beautiful a day for a shoot-out.. and in the west end as well... all in a glasgow day.. bet most of u guys didn't know that scotland has the highest violent crime rate in all developed countries of the world. yup.. and spending a good chunk of my life here is turning me into a hardened street-wise glaswegian lassie.. has it??? or am i still as innocent and naive as ever? hmmm....

meanwhile, i've decided that these are the best packaged cookies i've tasted in quite a while..

the space between

what matters is not the people themselves, but the space between. a surprising parcel from you made me smile and cry so deeply - a depth only a bond like ours can dig up. you are, to me, what you say i am to you. :)

sorry to all others who have bought me necklaces in the past! but i have a new favourite! *grin*

Eph 1:15 "I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers."

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other than hang out with mr mischief and mr cheeky in london, i got the chance to catch up with ____ as well... it's funny how 'a leopard never changes its spots' apply to the people of the world, and holds so true to them, but how Christians are ever changing, increasingly reflecting the face of Him, most high....

and best of all - He makes it so easy as well. :)

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integration week's only purpose - to integrate. basically sitting there, easy listening, chatting with the neighbours, sipping free sodas and tucking into pastries (sponsors love to spoil us!) and queueing up for free goodie bags! ahhhh... how they pamper us medical students in glasgow...

it's amazing how You are so beautiful, so overwhelming that you exceed my understanding, you overflow beyond my earthly knowledge, and yet you provide me with the knowledge, the wisdom and the fear of You... and still You bless me for using Your gifts...
what greater love story than this?

should i go for capoeira tonight? was chatting to a fellow capoeira medic today at the lecture, over my Sainsbury apple and melon soda and in between bites of my kit kat (remember, you're not a salmon!) so hard to get started on something you've put down for a while... which is why i'm trying not to put anything down at the moment... and whatever you choose to do, be the best you can at it... Thank you God for your providence! i am a barley loaf!!!!! YOUR barley loaf!Heee.. but anyways... capoeira.. an excuse to go check out hot brazilian guys and hot scottish people doing something so out of character for them! hahaha.... doing the jenga...

anyhow, this blog is dedicated to IVANNA MY BABBBEEEE COS IT'S HER BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!!!!!! THE 2ND OF NOVEMBER!!!!

meanwhile, i shall never go hungry again!!!

the spoils of war - BBG snacks

 

and so it is so...

guess where little miss naughty has been this crazy weekend???

little miss naughty and mister mischief went to the market!

and a secret garden only few know where!!!! look familiar??? 

and so it is just like you said it would be...

have you guessed where we've been? 

mr cheeky. little miss naughty. mr mischief.
.
.
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well, we're in londin, innit?

but wait a minute, which one's cheeky and which one's mischief???

numbers

exam in 12 hours time... last 3 chapters of Moore and Dalley (pg 832-1109) in the last 13 hours... 4 brain lobes, 2 hemispheres, 6 extraocular muscles, 2 synovial cavities in the TMJ, 12 cranial nerves, 4 muscles of mastication, 53 facial muscles, 6 branches of the facial nerve, 2 heads of the SCM, 1st 3 branches of the subclavian, 7 cervical vertebrae, 3 sympathetic cervical ganglia, 1 brachial plexus, 10 branches of the opthalmic artery, 15 branches of the maxillary artery, 8 branches of the external carotid, 4 suprahyoid muscles, 4 infrahyoid muscles, 2 bellies of the digastric, 4 extrinsic tongue muscles...........

freshies.strawberry and banana smoothie.scotch broth.kenneth.lunch.

groupies. qmu. guitar fingers. autumn in glasgow.

the t-shirt.

the cranial fossae.....

i know i've studied too much and too long when i'm mixing up medial and lateral, coronal and sagittal, when i've left the heater on for the past hour, when i can hear my TMJ creak, when shifting my eyeball in its orbit hurts and when everything i've studied for the past 5 hours seems like a big fuzzy mess... test in 48+12 hours time... halp... think after these next 60 hours of non-stop mugging, sleeping and eating, i'm going to collapse into the arms of my boyfriend, who's going to have to resuscitate me with cpr... (yes, my boyfriend who thinks the brain is the size of a fist... ) meanwhile, elsewhere in the world, there's been a series of blasts in baghdad AGAIN. you know there's something wrong in mann when you read : "The insurgents are well aware that, with so many bombs every day, it takes something spectacular to gain the attention of the international media.... " - BBC.
my brain is totally saturated.. and it's only been the first 5 hours of mugging... (horror creeps in) great... on the bright side, i've finally got a new vodafone line! woo hoo! finally can do away with that brick of a lg8120, which sucks to the max, and not have to stand the lousy reception that is from three network.. arghs.. good riddance to that dreadful combination... also, i'll be getting to see my boyfriend in about.... 70 hours time! yipppeeee!!! and i'll get to eat krispy kremes approximately 2 seconds after that, right baby??? arghs.. tired-post-bedtime-carol is kicking in... *yawns* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

something new PLEASE

HONESTLY THERE HAS TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN F**ING SEX!!!!!! can't these people seriously GET A LIFE and some NEW PERSPECTIVES!!!!!!! bloody hell... seriously, everything they talk about leads back to sex... I'D RATHER HAVE MY LUNCH ALONE NOW IF YOU PLEASE...

honestly.... i've never been rubbed the wrong way in conversations the way they always seem to manage to do to me.. what a bloody waste of my time and my energy holding a conversation with these clowns... you guys are bloody 21 year olds, get a grip. GET A BLOODY GRIP OF YOURSELVES. if only humans could close their ears.

angst.

everything man touches he ruins... but Jesus heals. everything He touches is made abundant, made good...

need a breath of fresh air in terms of conversation... and lunch-mates.....

been having horrible nightmares as well these past few nights... it's so weird.. it's like the devil's trying to put insecurity and fear in everything good that's been happening to me... but no way am i giving into all his lies... Jesus is in MEEEEEeeeeEEEee!!!

anyhow, one of the nightmares was that i was back in singapore and i was meant to go meet my boyfriend and some girlfriends... so i got up out of bed and looked into the mirror and my hair was MEGA-PUFFY. like seriously big.. like 5 inches off the top of my head, and frizzy at the ends.. i freAked! i was mortified... like the worst bad-hair day ever.. so i couldn't go meet aaron cos i didn't want him to see me looking like that... it's dumb, but it was really scary in the dream.. which is why i'm now using SUPER SLEEK SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER!

been reminded of the privilege i have with Jesus these past few days as well.. the juxtaposition between the grotesque lunchmates and the beautiful people God has put around me... the abyss between sin and man, as far as the east is from the west... a single word that confirmed your status was the same as mine, a calm reassurance you gave me, unknowingly.

gave a call to a devil in front of a computer and had an awkward chat... too much left unsaid, too much that has happened since. i am glad and thankful in so many ways for the unfamiliarity... ... or am i just being proud?

there she goes

omg!!! i made five spice chicken(wu xiang ji) for the first time ever, without a recipe, without a teacher, from scratch! and it tastes soooooo goood! WOW! mmmmmm..... mom and dad, you'll be so proud..

so it's official, i'm now of marriageable material.. yes, chinese men looking for future wives and a singaporean passport, you may send in your marriage proposals now...

meanwhile, i've been having conversations of the silliest degree:

me: yeah.. and the brain is beautiful, yada yadda yadda...
aaron: so it's supposed to be as big as the fist right?
me ....(incredulous)
aaron: oh wait, that's the heart...

weiyao: so i'm going to put a bid for the flat this thursday. i don't know how i'm going to do it, but i'm somehow going to tell the lady that i like her...
me: right, so i shouldn't be there right?
weiyao: yeah, you'll just spoil my mood..

kenneth: eh carol, what have you been telling the juniors about me huh?
me: why? what did they say to you?
kenneth: they're coming over later and they think my flat is going to be really neat and clean and that i am going to prepare wonderful food for them to eat.
me: WHAT? i don't remember telling them any of that.. i would NEVER praise you, kenneth.. i had probably said, ' kenneth is such a neat-freak, it's mad and obsessive and he's forced his poor flatmates into having to clean the kitchen and toilets...'
kenneth: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH......

wise words from weiyao:

when women grow older, they appreciate men with character more, but when men grow older, they're still the SAMEEEE!

quotable quote of the week:

dr marshall, (while dissecting the brain, was pushing away the optic chaisma to reveal the trigeminal nerve): this optic chiasma is getting on my nerves...

and the usuals:

(at the bottom of kenneth's flat, while i'm buzzing for him to let me in)
kenneth: who's this?
me: MEeeee... carol
kenneth: ARGHHHH....
me: let me in!
kenneth: nO!
me: let me IN!!!
kenneth: what's the password?
me: arghs... kenneth is the best...
buzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ahhh these men...

meanwhile, i'm getting cravings again... for theseeeeeeeeeeEEEEEE...

even though i've never tasted and never touched..... (despair) think it's a case of when the fantasy will always be so tantalising and perfect that everything else will seem to fall short of it...it's over-rated, some say... it's too sweet!.. others comment... but i, alas i, will never know... until my fantasy becomes reality (**hint hint)

so all yee chinese men out there, the way to carol's heart is through her krispykreme-shaped void...

meanwhile, glasgow is looking sooo very pwetty! autumn is here, and photos will follow shortly!

lodon (baby) and life after

bloomberg (the lifestyle).brazilian dinner.london underground.city.

london (baby) and life after II

just getting back into the swing of things with my studies.. dissected the brain this morning! it's beautiful... honestly.. i know it's sad i derive pleasure from a wet specimen of a brain... but seriously, it's gorgeous.

anyway, london was ammmmaaaaazzziiiiiiinnng as usual, but i think i should hold back on the photos cos i've noticed some of my photos aren't loading.. hmmm. maybe i'll shrink em down to size a little...

things i did in london!!

london underground.camden market.little venice. london zoo.

my poor baby wAS sick, so we couldn't make it to lots of other places, and had to have quite a few early evenings, but it doesn't matter cos everytime's a blast with my pancake anyways...

no idea why my photos aren't posting so i'll try to cut em down... anyone have any clues???

anyhow, been uber busy these few days... this blog was written over 3 days!!! been dissecting, going for MASSIVE dinners, getting my computer fixed (by 2 techno-savvy guys, on 2 seperate occasisons, one of which was over a phonecall from london), having dinners with my best pals in glasgow and getting guitar lessons from kenny over banana and strawberry smoothies!!! mmmmmm...

meanwhile, here's what else's coming up on my itinery for this week :

FRIDAY

11-1 class

515-630 glasgow uni malaysian society meeting - i'm signing up cos they're giving 10% off the chinese supermarket!

630 - flat-viewing with weiyao - i'm thinking of moving into a sweet new modern apartment with private carpark, elevator, desinger kitchen, mixer taps (a rarity) and CENTRAL HEATING!

730 - cell group dinner

SATURDAY

do my anatomy coursework in the afternoon

nora's coming over for a sleepover..

SUNDAY

9am jog with kammy++

12 mass with yujing

130 chinese church

330 worship meeting

yup yup.. i'll be a pretty busy girl and since my boyfriend is too busy for me too, i'll just have to keep him updated THRU THIS BLOG SINCE WE HARDLY GET THE TIME TO TALK NOWADAYS!!!!!!! (**hint hint)

anyhows, guitar lessons with kenneth today was uber fun as well! i love kenny boy.. he's my favourite guy friend just now, but don't tell him i told you that - we thrive on a mutual-take-the-piss-out-of-each-other-relationship. but i love him and he knows that... heee.. i so hope he doesn't somehow stumble on this blog or i will have nowhere to hide my face... readers, please don't tell him... please?... oh oh oh! and pui ee, my missing flatmate got a piano delivered yesterday!! so this means i have a guitar and a piano in my flat right now!!! aww, aren't i so blessed?? now i can make music alll day long! heee.. which explains why my left fingers are totally roughed and desensitised and my palmar veins are much more visible... heee..

and yes, i am being a medical student in the midst of this all... captain weetos is coming on to me....even my dissection group realises he loves to put his hands on me... u may think that sounds unacceptable.. but that's not all.. it's compounded by the fact that he's got HUMAN FLESH AND JUICES ON HIS HANDS cos he dissects people for a living!!!!!! @#$^%#$@#& but, juicy hands aside, he's ace and i love him and if i were to do an intercalated degree in anatomy, i'll want him to be my mentor!!!!

okok, enough of my silly ramblings.. i should get back to (drumroll)........ the cranial nerves and the blood supply of the brain...