revising my thoughts

was just skimming through the bbc website as usual... and reading about the cockling deaths tragedy when i stumbled upon this comment :

"By the 1990s, British-born Chinese had emerged as one of the top groups in schools, consistently out-performing other ethnicities and often beating white children." full text here.

so, yes, as is according to the masterplan, chinese will soon take over the world.. it's all just a matter of time. *evil squinty eyed look*... but seriously, i think it's all to do with our education system from asia.... total force-feeding and coercive, borderline-legal methods of stuffing little children, who lack autonomy and willpower, into a multitude of classes and courses... take me for example.. i was forced into organ lessons, piano lessons, ballet, and evenings with mommy over timetables and ladybird books, all before i could even say the word "cultured". however, i rebelled and managed to lie my way out of piano lessons and eventually made my parents realise their folly - that their daughter really wasn't interested in becoming a child mozart. so they took me off piano lessons. mind you, i still remember that day of utter ambivalence- freedom, but now what?

12 years down the road and here i am, piano skills stagnant at grade 3, barely able to tell you which notes have sharps and sight-reading asunder...totally regretting my action then... yes, it was against my volition and will, yes, i absolutely hated it, yes, i hated those afternoons i wished i wasn't there... but how i wish i never had given it up. i wish my parents had just asked me to grin and bear it a little longer....

where we are today was due to what we did yesterday and where we are tomorrow depends on what we do today. and most of the time, we don't know what's best for us. i still don't know what's best for me.. except, now even my parent's can't tell me what's best for me. and that's the tricky part - because who are we accountable to now? what happens when the decisions we make are the wrong ones? who's going to direct us then? is adulthood the learning curve of greatest acceleration because it is also the time of greatest err? and who are we accountable to? ourselves? God? people around us? our idols? the law?

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everything is meaningless, ... for 'this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labour under the sun. whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge, nor wisdom.' - ecclesiasties 9:9-10. life can be so depressing without God.... religion too, is a choice, it seems.