one day

"Now she was going to have to accept the fact that she may not see him ever again... 'I realise i didn't have any way to get in touch with you. I don't think i should. I don't think you should either.' He looked relieved and she felt sleighted once again. 'Alright, why's that?' 'Because I think if you did, I think I would go a bit mad, you sitting there. Because I wouldn't be able to do what I want to do.' Then he put one hand lightly on her neck, and gently kissed her, in the middle of the street, amidst the people.

And it was the sweetest kiss that either of them would ever know. This is where it all begins. Everything starts here, today, and then it was over."

- One day, by David Nicholls

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

the evergreen kinship that amalgamated the common pursuit of the idea of something higher than ourselves: something that poked into the soul. the soul is such an overused word, but no, this was no hackneyed link. perhaps one day in the future, it might feel it, but that day, it wasn't. and that day was so real. and that day was ephemeral and yet, will persist forever in the banks of memory.

The female of the species is more delayed than the male.

The future of medicine and women... Interesting publication that states “there is no evidence that female NHS doctors have been directly disadvantaged in their career progression, or that having children negatively affects the career progression of women who have always worked full time.”(1) show that more men (16%) than women (6%) who had worked full time were in surgery. The percentage of women who worked part time who were in surgery was at a shockingly dismal 2%. (oh dear) with the corresponding association between not doing surgery related to being female and working part-time. The median time for attaining consultancy was 11.7 years for men, 11.3 for women who had always trained full time and 12.3 years for all women.

So I suppose all these statistics tell us nothing we couldn’t already surmise: female doctors, who make up an increasing proportion of NHS doctors and make up the majority of medical students in UK medical schools, would take longer to attain consultancy (and would work about ¾ of the workload of their male colleagues, other studies quote). But if women worked the same amount as men, they tend to achieve consultancy faster.

Some more interesting stat facts:

• 12% of British medical graduates are no longer working under the NHS after 2 years of qualification.
  
• Approximately 50% of international medical graduates eventually leave the NHS. (2)
• in 2007, only 7% of accepted surgical consultants and 27% of surgical ST1's were female (3)
  

In conclusion, I would have a 50% likelihood of remaining in the UK after my 20^th year of qualification and I would have a 98% chance of not doing surgery. HMMMMMMMM……

(1)Raylor KS, Lambert TW, Goldacre MJ. Career progression and destinations, comparing men and women in the NHS: postal questionnaire surveys. BMJ 2009; 338:b1735.

(2) Michael J Goldacre, Jean M Davidson, Trevor W Lambert. Retention in the British National Health Service of medical graduates trained in Britain: cohort studies. BMJ 2009; 337:b1977

(3) Elston MA.Women and medicine: the future. London: Royal College of Physicians. 2009.

miss madam

And she was one of those tropical blends
Soft to the touch and hard as steel rods.
She mixed the good and bad winds naturally,
Easily, affectionately.
And all who passed refreshed themselves
On the rays of her presence.
Her word-glue maintained the lives interwoven
And her good cheer like warm liquid to the ear.


_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

meanwhile, i've just been reminded by circumstances recently that having an opinion is better than not having an opinion. and it has been a slow trickle of blogs of late. perhaps it's because it's been a slow trickle of me of late. am i becoming less and is something (someone) else becoming more? i suppose getting the right looming personality looming would be of utmost importance. or maybe it is just because i have just chosen to keep my opinions and expressions and musings bottled up inside where noone will find because noone holds the key. my limited (but growing) knowledge of myself whispers that it is the latter. cryptic cryptogenic cryptosporidium cryptorchidism.

"To warn, to comfort, and command;
And yet a Spirit still, and bright
With something of angelic light."

she did

hospidelicio

"...It actually follows the familiar pattern of 21^st-century life: long periods of boredom interspersed with the occasional thrill."

hmmm...

voiceless

I have gotten my voice back, although not in the literal sense as my laryngitis-induced-voice-loss is still going strong for the 5th day running...
but anyhow, reiterate. I have my voice back. The personality-erosive effects of medical finals is slowly being reversed.

"The unreflective life is a life not worth living." Without offending any non-reflective people (or dull surfaces), I find this saying so close to the truth. And it is so often that God calls upon us to reflect, to think, to ponder, to dwell on our lives, our behaviour, ourselves, to question our actions, behaviours and thoughts and to keep them in check. If to even think evil is a sin, we have much thought-cleansing to do. How did I come to that? I don't know. My pressure of speech is starting to take rein again. Perhaps it is easier on my friends that my voice is gone at the moment..... Break them into me gently, I say...

Anyhoo, also read something very lovely which would be nice to throw into the thought-pool:

"My sole passion is thy love,
In earth beneath or heaven above,
I have no other store.
And though with fervent suite I pray
And importune thee day by day,
I ask Thee nothing more."

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


Meanwhile, as usual, my annual / biannual pilgrimage to the motherland has brought me back with more updates from friends, family and others. It is quite comforting to know that despite the differences in location, cultures, and appearances, we are all of the same species, living out our jobs, living out our relationships, living out our religions and practising our beliefs, feeling similar sentiments, having identical needs and desires, in true Maslow-like fashion. A comforting reassurance of our existence as humans. (it never fails to provoke me that Maslow put 'sex' as a physiological need and 'sexual intimacy' as a need for belonging/love...) A reassurance... I suppose the dehumanisation and personality erosion was needing a good kick up the backside.
Anyhow, I ramble too much...

the jelly express

Royal jelly. hmmm. All female bees result from genetically identical larvae, but only those that feed on royal jelly become fertile and end up queen bees.

I wonder if humans had the equivalent elixir or 'royal jelly'. arguably, i do understand how some people might be prone to believe how some prescribed medications taken without a prescription may aid intelligence and performance. Surveys have shown that a significant fraction of students from top universities such as Oxford and Cambridge use drugs such as Ritalin and Modafinil to aid attention and concentration.
Well, i can't decide what my opinion on the matter is. Coffee / caffeine pills / red bull / paracetamol, etc etc have been manipulated and similarly partaken in order to improve study and prolong waking hours. Arguably, with newer drugs, the long term side effects are dubious. Furthermore, academic performance becomes something less meritocratic and more based on 'who's got the most money/ friends with connections'.

But then, having just emerged from the protracted blurry haze that is studying for medical finals, i have just experienced the constant upward struggle that most students nowadays have to contend with: getting connections to get hold of the most number of past papers, knowing people who know doctors who set the exam, spending money to buy the latest Littman stethoscope, paying for medical courses, etc etc... especially promoted by the fact that more than 50% of our paper were recycled questions...

Anyhow, before i further maul my foot further by this continuous stabbing, i suppose most of life is based on such an unfair selection. Nepotism in the workplace, in the selection of political leaders, etc etc... But educational institutions should not be the place where such unfair play takes place and where such behaviour should be clamped down upon. Just as there should be 'markets with morals' (ohhh-ohhh, spot the Gordon fan!!), educational institutes with mottos such as 'The way, the truth, the life' (Glasgow) and Dominus Illuminatio Mea (
"The Lord is my Light") (Oxford) should more so be institutes where such unfairness is discouraged.