mindless

it's been a while since i was this relaxed.... today i _____, but for no rhyme or reason.

looking through old video clips and photos in an attempt to clean up my laptop... it's true what they say.. it's funny, how i always remembered my past was never as good as where i am now, but that's just a psychological pacification system the brain must simulate... a mini-adaptation process, an opioid for the daily drudge/routine/getting on with work/adulthood. so yes, i had a youth, with tons of photos and videos for evidence.

when your mind is a mess so is mine i can't sleep
because it hurts when i think when my thoughts aren't at peace

all the words that we said and the words that we mean
and the words can fall short, can't see the unseen.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

still, why did i ____?

walking thoughts

C2C were a blast at the carnival arts centre. 5 decks, 4 dj's, 1 british, 1 bahamian, 1 mauritian and 1 singaporean.

indian at balbir's. amazing. bombay mix.

i am reduced to one-word descriptions. need that brain right now. i'm sleeepppy.

and so she walked and walked, along the great western road, and with one long determined breath, she took in the road, the view and the air, the cool, crisp glaswegian air.. and then she looked beyond what was ahead of her, instead, a flexion of a sternocleidomastoid, and saw, by CN II, the beauty that lay beneath her, under that ancient bridge, the flow of the nature of things and the odd scene that just didn't mix, but somehow formed an amalgam of death, life, man, nature, wood, water, stone, plant.... and somehow these events were composed in her association cortex, finely dressed and put forward to her. she registered, albeit not without slight confusion and awe, of the irregularity that is in beauty, the incongrousity of life.

oddly enough

the past 3 weeks/3 years have gone by so quickly... i left the house early this morning - 8am-ish. and it was bright. and it occured to me - winter is ending.

golly, i've worked through winter without even realising it. and just to mock me further, i look up to the sky and recognise Daddy's signature in the clouds and smile, laugh even, to ourselves.. and then just when i thought that was His last laugh, i look ahead of me, and behold, the most gorgeous rainbow in a long time. arching over byres road...

water off a duck's back.. how very Clever, You made me serve you in the meanwhile!

this whole perception business... tricky one.

so... altered perceptions. i'm 22. (as of saturday) i'm past my prime, or so it seems.. so i guess this shall be the last birthday i'll celebrate... oh craiggeee, what happened to those free coloured highlighters when we were children? this whole no-parents thing for university is really making me feel OLD.

TRANSFUSION. was amazing. i'll need to elaborate more on this when i'm not this unconscious...

on a sadder note, i don't know how i deal with sticky people. the best way to turn me off is to try to hard...

it worked!

i've finally unlocked the html problem behind my blog! i'm now firefox-friendly and extremely ecstatic!

bounce bounce bounce

i'm a legend!..... i am? really? cheers dude, i'll shake my own hand too. :0)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

the day of GT planning+ is going to culminate in..... Take California... and Lemon Jelly beanie thinggies, amazing Tesco strawberry crisps, mince pork with chinese leaf and rice, and House to take care of my needs and... best of all. my carpets are clean, my clothes out to dry, clean and smelling of Ariel-type scents.. and and and and and, i get to be fueled by the buzz of the Lord and His Spirit's working in me and making me a 'legend' and hopefully, one day, a better guitar player, and hopefully, one day, a ______ . but in the meantime, my mind, flying at the speed of a thousand sparks, shall spark off another spark and lead everyone into the confusion of a break-neck thought process, sub-clinical, benign hyperglycaemic rant.

galactic bouce. i dance like a telly-tubby. everyone shout, "TRANSFUSION!"

bounce bounce... taut tummy of an irish man and dark glasses of the evil twin, bounce bounce... but really, i'm in love with God, and i'm in love with all His plans, because it is glorifying Him and it is winning souls over for Him and it's all about the Love. everybody has long hair. it's grooooovy!

what will happen if one day all the penguins fell down on the ice and a domino effect came upon and someone rolled three sixes and found out that there really was... luck isn't luck but blessings. and i love you too! muacks! and will miss you when i move on. but i still love your counsel and your wisdom, except the smell of my oily hair when you cook! and yes, ap, you have lost your mojo, but i still love you anyway! haha... see how much love! love, love love! evangelism, evangelism, evagelism... may the blood of Christ cover Glasgow University and may it awash us, like rain, like a beautiful blanket, under which, Christians stand, belted up, shield forth, standing and fighting from Glory to Glory. Amen!

dreamt it

but then just once
maybe the only ever
you came close to me
nearer than normal
nearer than words
or careless whispers
in the silence of the room.

and since we were both
unplanned, unwell, unavailable,
we let the moment
pass between us.

between furtive glances
and transient brushes by
between the split second of
a racing heart,
two hands let go.

i woke up
unexpectedly bare
from a dream
slipping through the fingers
of my recent memory.

so you're with her,
but that's ok
because i have
the dream of you and me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

i laugh. i don't know what's so funny... but everything around me seems to smile back at me, bloom for me, turn over for me. even the posters on the walls, or the gum in my mouth that resembles the bluetack in my hands.. and the people walking their dogs, or the memory of a friend, or typing the word 'home' on my pbl that rekindles my memories of a cottage house with a warm fire place and jelita and hawker food and orchard road. and even the little idiosyncracies of a new friend intrigues me, like the little flakes of snow from a flash-flood of ice. and the sun that shines and bursts forth from the snow-storm while i'm worshipping You. and the light of Your love that floods my face and the look of delight in the people i make smile and the laughter of Your children and the laughter of peace and the laughter of laughers who know better.

midway ball 2006 (gamma 2008)

men in kilts! (wheee-yoo-wheeet!)

and so i've come halfway....

the chinks.

kenny aka my mr funny!!! heeeeeeeeeee :) (see previous posts)

yup... the very endearing kenny... old-pbl mate, wardround partner and great joker who cracks me up with the littlest effort..

dougie!!!!

gotta love him! douggie's the man for the job.

dance buddies. claire.me.ruth.jean.

hip hop, rnb, capoeira, ceilidh, african.. you name it, we do it!

table 19. me.kenneth.weiyao.kenny.rosalyn.anthony.phil.

pre-ball seasians:
me.weiyao.max.kenneth.

yes... he's wearing a malaysian national costume.

transfusion of joy

"Its good to see the joy of the Lord in you. Grow in it! And know His peace.
_____
PS - thank you for saying thank you!! "


:) the importance of fellowship in the new covenant.

and this is what we've been busy with :

so busy, but keeping the buzz with the Lord.. because He gives me strength.. He gives me visions, He gives me all that I need to run this race, to run far, without losing strength, without losing breath. because morning after morning, i am satisfied by His unfailing love.

"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,

that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

May your deeds be shown to your servants,

your splendour to their children.

May the favour of the Lord our God rest upon us;

establish the work of our hands for us -

yes, establish the work of our hands."

-psalm 90:14, 16-17

amen. so be it.

ka-fei

the most amazing conversations again! having them again and again and again! my word i just can't stop talking! one minute i look and it's half 7, and the next minute, john's (not his real name) saying it's half 8 and i'm like... *spins head up and glances at watch* "WHAT??? NO FREAKING WAYY!" and he's like "that's cos we talk so well, man!" yeah we do, like, but how come we never hit it off before? that's just so weird... i've known john for like ages and we've never talked about all this before!

so the next time, we promised, would be proper and over coffee, (or cafe, as he says it - like the french) and over PROPER COFFEE instead of when we're watching films together. (oh yes, he's my new film buff friend as well) yes.. and he's got me into pink floyd and led zeppellin and the other random artistes.. and he loves my guitar compositions......(oh yes, i've started composing songs on the guitar, no lyrics though, cos i think music expresses more than my lyrics.. only because medicine has robbed me of my vocabulary, but... they can take my language, but they won't take my FREEEEEEEEE-DOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!)

Kashmir - Led Zepellin

Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen Talk of days for which they sit and wait, all will be revealed...

photos

hong kong airport, jan 06

my word. just looking back at my recent posts, i realised how little photos of PEOPLE i've actually published in dec and jan! time to remedy that.. but since i've not been taking much people photos of late, here's a blast from the past...

1st year flat parties

my only photo with a giraffe! the london zoo.

you can see why they're brothers...

awwwww... the lovely kennth.

mA lovelIES!

typically singapore. chinatown a few days before i left 05.

the photo shen wants! singapore christmas 05 @ mandarin hotel

welcome nora!

ahh! so this is what a clean room feels like!

bummed out.

now it seems no matter what i do, i can't seem to shake off how much i love this city... glasgow is so amazing, in so many ways i have never seen before. glasgow is like a shy beauty, the kind you have to take a second look at to go "WOW , you are so very lovely." and she just keeps getting better and better.

not been updating my blog of late cos i've been mega busy (what's new, you're asking).. what's new is, i've been put in charge with going out into the streets of glasgow to interview randoms! yes.. random passers-by are going to be film by yours truly in an attempt to capture the current paradigm of Christianty. all in the interest of the good people behind Glasgow Transfusion, which everyone can find out more about by going to www.transfusion.org.uk !!!

my room is utterly messy right now.. there's:

1. dry clothes waiting to be taken off the hanger

2. clean clothes waiting to be ironed.

3. bags all over the floor

4. bin waiting to be emptied

5. clean socks - to be folden and kept

6. new consignment of bloomberg snacks waiting to be stashed

best of all - i'm too busy to bother... :) life's easy when you're laid back! haha.. mom, send the maid over please!

speaking of my latest consignment, it arrived in the post today!! for the first time today, i met the postman from royal mail instead of him coming round when i'm not in. which saved me a whole 40 minute walk to the nearer depot along clarence drive.. *phew* what did not get me was the parcel from tnt, containing my black strappy heels from singapore for my ball.. hopefully that'll be re-delivered by tomorrow morning...

God has, meanwhile, been at it again, blessing me. :) i love you too! and i'll need Him all the more now that He's put Glasgow Transfusion under my care... but yes, as aaron rightfully pointed out,

"And God is able to make all grace abound

to you, so that in all things at all times,

having all that you need, you will abound

in every good work." - 2 Corinthians 9:8

my room, uninterrupted.

meanwhile, i'd like to take this opportunity to thank aaron pan for being the most amazing bloomberg employee of 2006. you're doing bloomberg proud, by spreading the bloomberg love around... :) and cheers dude, for that really encouraging letter - the bread of life together with the physical sustenaince.. i see what you've done there, even if you haven't. if you don't know by now, you're truly appreciated. and i totally didn't expect it as well, caught up in my little "busy-bubble" but yes, thanks for being around and really, just being there.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

discussion topic #1 :

do we jeopardise our future relationships by having previous relationships?

i've been told this for the second time in my life by a different person and i'm coming to realise, it just might be true.... the theory that we 'lose a bit of ourselves' with each relationship come and gone, that there is a bit of us trapped in the memories of old, with someone else, with 'memories like daggers' as kenneth so rightfully put it. and with each new relationship, there is lesser energy that can go into it, because some has been expended in the old ones... is this the sad but true fact of love in life? the fact that with more to love, there is... less love? how sad.

just when i thought

arghs.... just when i thought i was going to have to spend even more money and take even more time off my studies to meet up with nora today for drinks, she cancelled on me right when i was meant to meet her.. and so i thought i'd feel better and relieved and that this would've freed up more time for me to do the things i was meant to be doing.. but then.... i wasn't liberated, i was free to the point of indolent idleness! and i didn't like it at all! i have been, to my dismay and utter frustration at times, so busy the past week with no time for anything... rushing into lectures, having to catch my breath, coming in late for classes, leaving assignments in lockers, gobbling down breakfasts, trying to get my 8 hours, etc etc... and for once, today, i felt that there was nothing planned for the rest of my evening, and i was, instead of the relaxation i was anticipating, indifferent and unwelcoming of it!

and then, just when i thought i was going to have to get to liking this idleness and short-lived freedom, i come home from the library, all ready to sip my chamomile and blog about it, when i check my inbox for all the emails that i've deferred reading, and realise there's a new agenda for Glasgow Transfusion that's taking place and i have more work to do by this sunday!

arghs!!!! how the furrows of life tip and turn you! *pout*
meanwhile, this whole new mobile no business is quite a pain as well, why are they taking so long to grant me my free 300 texts??? don't they know i've a textaholic and this abstinence is driving me mad???

since when were we defined by the amount of things we have got planned and how much contact we make with people... since when did the number of texts/calls we receive a day define us? since when did we seek solace in these things - time/communication with people? but then, you ask, why not? God created people for Himself, but i believe He also created people for people... but it's when you base all your solace and all your hopes and all your faith in people that you're screwed. because the moment we rest our faith in men is the moment we will be sadly let down. which is exactly why i place all my trust in God. :)