Friday, January 27

male balls

i think over the past few years, i've slowly come to the realisation that i'm actually a boy trapped in a girl's body.. and this has been confirmed by one-too-many of my male friends...

reasons why i'm really male:
1. i have a substantially large male:female friends ratio.
2. i am not overly sensensitive
3. i am a messy messy person.
4. i don't clean the house when i'm stressed like most normal girls do.
5. i hate it when women whine.
6. i hate it when women gossip.
7. i have the appetite of a male (ok, only sometimes)
8. i get along better with males
9. apparently i think like a male because i'm mentally promiscuous.
10. i check women out with males and most of them are utterly comfortable with me around.
11. i hate girls who can't play sports.
12. i think guys who don't play sports just don't cut it.
13. i love going to the gym and hanging out with sweaty, smelly, atheletic people and i'm totally into team sports.
14. i prefer to go the toilet alone rather than in groups.
15. i hunt alone.

so yes... i conclude.. not a girl, not yet a woman, but a male...

anyhow, my new film buff friend who just shared the joys of watching "before sunrise" with me just dissed my all-time favourite ben stiller comedy - "zoolander"! unbelievable....

meanwhile, i'm on a caffeine high at 1120pm on a thursday night... :/

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

to prove i'm not that male yet, i shall post the following few feminine fotos for future fantasies of my midway ball....




Wednesday, January 25

morning news

Censorship for the Chinese?? whatafarce.

Google has offered a Chinese-language version of its search engine for years but users have been frustrated by government blocks on the site.
The company is setting up a new site - Google.cn - which it will censor itself to satisfy the authorities in Beijing.
Google argued it would be more damaging to pull out of China altogether.
Critics warn the new version could restrict access to thousands of sensitive terms and web sites. Such topics are likely to include independence for Taiwan and the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre.
The Chinese government keeps a tight rein on the internet and what users can access. The BBC news site is inaccessible, while a search on Google.cn for the banned Falun Gong spiritual movement directs users to a string of condemnatory articles.

read full text here.

Tuesday, January 24

RIGHTEOUSNESS.

"righteousness and peace kiss each other." -psalm 85

we are made righteous... and so we have peace. :) but that's something even born again Christians sometimes forget, and something that ignorant Christians do not even know about...

righteousness.. what a powerful word, what a beautiful and perfect gift. what a great burden lifted... the devil has blinded so many people's eyes that they try to work their way into heaven by good deeds and 'morality' because of the misconception that 'good people go to heaven'...

that 40 minute debate with rob in the study landscape last night on grace vs works and the finished work of Jesus... the 2 year long wait to the sequel to the prequel held in first year, hillhead student apartments, room 1.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

peace... because 'all our fountains are in You.' and with that, all their fountains are in us. christians, the most fearless people in the world. because we have God, the world cannot harm us, cannot condemn us. we have nothing to lose.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

i won't be surprised if there are osteoarthritis changes in my hips, knees and ankles. it's kinda just waiting to happen just now... too much jogging and badminton in my early years.. plus a genetic predisposition (which makes up 35-45% of osteoarthritis cases).. pain... achey in character, worse after periods of activity, relieved by rest. osteophyte growth.. eeeeeeeeeeeeee. i claim healing in Jesus's name. :)

i'm soooo behind in my work. and the LCP - longitudinal care project is boring a hole in my mind... putting a cap on my freedom and turning me into a laptop-potato. :(
meanwhile, much prayer is needed for Glasgow Transfusion, happening February 20-24th... more posts soon.

Friday, January 20

memoirs


i so very miss london...

reading material

Al Gore speaks the truth plainly:

"The President and I agree on one thing. The threat from terrorism is all too real. There is simply no question that we continue to face new challenges in the wake of the attack on September 11th and that we must be ever-vigilant in protecting our citizens from harm.
Where we disagree is that we have to break the law or sacrifice our system of government to protect Americans from terrorism. In fact, doing so makes us weaker and more vulnerable.
Once violated, the rule of law is in danger. Unless stopped, lawlessness grows. The greater the power of the executive grows, the more difficult it becomes for the other branches to perform their constitutional roles. As the executive acts outside its constitutionally prescribed role and is able to control access to information that would expose its actions, it becomes increasingly difficult for the other branches to police it. Once that ability is lost, democracy itself is threatened and we become a government of men and not laws."

read the full text here.

free speech. Amen.

Priests cannot tell a lie.

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked:Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?""Of course my child, What can I do for you?"Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair removergadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really goneover the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscateit at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie."You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any
questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'.
The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presentedhimself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son",he replied. Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked,
"And from the sash down, what do you have?"
The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument destined for use by women, but which has never been used."
Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father.Next!"


'Taylor' - Jack Johnson

And he just wonders around unaffected by the winter winds. and he'll pretend that,
well, he's somewhere else so far and clear about 2,000 miles from here. she's such a tough enchilada filled up with nada givin' what she got to give to get dollar bills. she used to be a limber chick time's a been tickin'now she's finger lickin to the man with the money in his pockets, flyin in his rocket only stoppin by on his way to a better world. if Taylor finds a better world Taylor's gunna run away.

'Big Business' - Dilated Peoples

no questions I pledge resistance to the grass that hides the snakes of America so they watch it, now I walk with caution more careful put more thought to options Is the opposite of progress Congress?From the school to the street we're beyond stress but I fight for peace, that's what the problem is war is big biz, ask an economist speak in volumes callin' anti-war and anti-American synonymous Back in the day I would've gotten black listed just for speakin'up Hoover probably would've screamed Communist! I want black and brown unity but cats get out to bring the jail to the community Fightin's nothin' new to meI even corrected what the public school system tried to do tome Here's a spark encoded in rhyme and love for everyone of the devoted in line...We call it art, some call it a crime it's the rap Michael Moore, like Bowling for Columbineon drums, Fahrenheit, 9-1-1 Al Queda hit the Apple and the world was stunnedthe villain trained by the hero for the killing now you twist $20 bills to see buildings Under heavy surveillancethey might call you a traitor if you want something greater Don't get me wrong, America's a great place to live just listen to the knowledge I giveif more than half the budget goes to military spendingless than half goes to whatever it's defendingOne nation, many gods, individuals with liberties and justice for all who are miserable.

Thursday, January 19

things, things, things


my devil's curry.rainbow trout descaled and for grilling. seeds and nuts. xrays of thalassaemic bones.


my life has been a pretty poor show if i should say so myself... struggling to fit in time for PBLs, deciding and organising the mid-year ball, applications for electives, intercalated degrees, intercalated degree bursaries, ssms, going out with friends, struggling not to struggle, struggling to get to sleep, struggling to get my laundry done, struggling to find time to iron, sleep, do pbl, and all the above mentioned tasks. yup yup. diagnosis : overworked, underprepared.

so yes. the mid-way ball. happening on the 11th of february. need to get me a dress for that.

took a hiatus today from the business and utter madness of things. oh yes, did i forget to mention that i also have a longitudinal care project to submit? that's due on the first week of February. oh.. great.

that's why i screwed it all and watched two episodes of House MD. which brings me to the essential topic of my blog today:

who is carol's ideal man????

well.. these men come close!

1. Jack Shepherd from lost.

2. Gregory House MD

3. Lex Luther from Smallville

yes, as you guys can tell. i so need a break... but these are the pillars of my hope in men. hahaha... sad that they're all fictional characters from films/series... but yes...

1. jack shepherd for being a doctor, being noble, intelligent and so very yummy.
2. dr house for being a brilliant doctor, eccentric, witty and smart (i shudder in awe at the combi...)
3. lex.. for rhyming with sex... for his brilliance, intelligence, (notice a trend?) wit and confidence.
yes.. intelligence is sexy!
House MD is my latest addition to the series craze.. while weiyao is busy searching for Smallville 4, ER is showing on monday nights, SATC is getting dusty on my shelf, and lost 2 episodes 1-9 is still untouched. if only medicine were that challenging and crazy everyday. if only MRIs didn't have to be paid for and if only nurses could take care of the coughs, sniffs and sore throats.
but anyhow, life seriously takes a turn for a dry spell when you don't struggle to rest in Him. a foolish mistake made at the start of the day, that causes the rest of the day to decay. eeyucks. eww. okay. no more of this mediocrity..
doctors loose their spelling and vocab. loose? what a weird looking word. anyhow, medicine. right, yes.. ward rounds with kenny this morning. made a total foool of myself, but it's okay, i'll never forget that pulmonary embolism shows up as a right heart strain and sinus tachy on ecg again...
oh, and a quotable quote quoted by one of our lecturers yesterday:
"life is a universally fatal, sexually transmitted disease."
another one to add to the list of what i love about medicine:
egocentric eccentric old school consultants,
studying,
medical libraries,
medical books
hospitals,
differential diagnosing,
stethoscopes,
its one-liners.

Tuesday, January 17

the uninspiring LCP

Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Who is this?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
take a guess, ____ ____of scotland.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
um?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
clues, please?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
I guess only someone who wasn't in Scotland would say that...
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Meaning you're probably an American
girl with the pearl earrings says:
um hmm
girl with the pearl earrings says:
right... because my accent is so distinct from msn
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
And if you're an American, odds are your surname begins with W
girl with the pearl earrings says:
and what does my surname begin with?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
W?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
and u think that because???
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Becasue most of the American's I know are one family...
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
If not then you're probably a Brooks preson?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
and you think i'm american because?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
hang on
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
are you Anne?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
crap
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
so not american then?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
only in ur deductions
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Yeah, a straight yes or no would proabbly be more use there
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Kate?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
a straight no
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
no to kate as well, yeah?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
yes
girl with the pearl earrings says:
as in no, i'm not kate. yes, i'm not kate.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
um...
girl with the pearl earrings says:
i'll give you a clue.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Are you in England
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
do
girl with the pearl earrings says:
i can spell syncytiotrophoblast.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
crap
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
I can't
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
does this make you a medic?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Or at least some kind of biological scientist
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
presumable femal
girl with the pearl earrings says:
hmmmm. i can also recite the 12 cranial nerves
girl with the pearl earrings says:
and i know all about haemolytic anaemias.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
not in Scotland, not American
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
what the hell?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
you're on my course then?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
well, i didn't say i wasn't from scotland.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Elaney?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
no
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
no, I guess
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
but that does make your opening comment kinda unusual
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
How well do I know you#?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
that depends... well is defined as?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
I don't know, when did we last talk
girl with the pearl earrings says:
define talk
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
would I know your birthday?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
haha.. good one. no
girl with the pearl earrings says:
but if my memory serves me correctly, yours is the 16th of jan..
girl with the pearl earrings says:
oh crap
girl with the pearl earrings says:
or was it feb?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
feb i think
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
feb you turnip
girl with the pearl earrings says:
welll.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
and I figure this means we do know each other quite well
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
would it blow your cover to say how you come to have my email?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Is this Lorna under another name
girl with the pearl earrings says:
would it surprise you to say you gave it to me?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
and no, i'm not lorna.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
no
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Jean?
girl with the pearl earrings says:
keep going.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
this might take a wee while...
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
kie?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Jackie?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Judeth?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Lizzie?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
(Feel free to butt in anytime...)
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Louise?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
um...
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Do I live in the same flat as you?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
In which case what the hell are you doing Is? go back to studying, okay.
girl with the pearl earrings says:
no, i am none of the above.
girl with the pearl earrings says:
quick, you're starting to bore me.
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
damn
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Well, it's kind of you who's perpetuating this really...
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
another clue please?
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
damn, I really thought Is was the right answer...
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Oh I know...
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Carol
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
Very funny
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
damn, that's really obvious, now that I think about it
girl with the pearl earrings says:
finally you've come to your senses...
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
arrggh, got to go actually
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
by coincidence
girl with the pearl earrings says:
haha
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
nt cause it's you
girl with the pearl earrings says:
tata
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
see you in a bit
Love! Expulsion! Revoution! says:
bye

Monday, January 16

free-stylin

turkish delights from the U.A.E.
(aaron's supplementary present that didn't quite manage to fit in the box... oops...
yup. i'm sold to the white witch...)



Sunday, January 15

fishy

i smell of fish. i descaled a rainbow trout! then grilled it. and ate it. yum yum. rainbow trout is my fishfran.

i love worship! and jack johnson. on and on and on and on.. and on and on... and on and on..

someone's talking really loudly in the library.

so i sent off aaron's present that day! totally knew it was for him when i saw it. it was those mogu counters in a trolley cart thing and the lady was real nice and approached me and asked if i was looking for a gift. yes, are there any other stuff toys? just this one and she opened her secret drawer to show me a pig! "PERFECT!" i beamed and the lady laughed. heh heh heh.. poor aaron, humiliated on his birthday...

Friday, January 13

popcorn

cos i've been flying around so much on SIA and Emirates and catching films and watching DVDs so much, here's a list of the films i've watched recently!
from order of most recent to least:

1. Mala educación, La (Bad Education)
directed by Pedro Almodovar - same guy who did 'Talk to Her' (see previous posts)
starring Gael García Bernal - che guevera in motorcycle diaries
2. Matchpoint
directed by Woody Allen,
the film which has made me a new Scarlett Johansson fan. omg she's sexy.
3. The Royal Tenenbaums
realised i'd watched it before somewhere in the recesses of my first year memory.
(attempted to watch High Fidelity at this point but John Cusack just didn't cut it..)
4. In Her Shoes
Cameron Diaz is weird-looking but attractive...
5. Shinobi
but leaving out the last crucial 20 mins cos of the plane ride! gonna have to do something
about this soon.. totally awesome japanese arty-martial arts-piece with uber hot
japanese-looking woman and my-kind-of-asian-man as leads..












...my memory is starting to fail me...

meanwhile, as a new scarlett johansson fan, i have to say, she is soo hot. plumb and ripe for the plucking in 'girl with a pearl earring' and cloyingly sexy and seductive in 'matchpoint'... hey i didn't say these, they're what her male leads say to her in the films respectively...i need to watch 'the island'.


would have watched 'before sunrise, before sunset' again last night if not for the fact that stupid dvd players here aren't compatible with asian dvds. arghs... but.... movies i wanna watch sooon!

1. in the mood for love
2. memoirs of a geisha
3. 2046


yesh. my asian fetish is starting again.

series to carry me through:

1. lost II
2. house
3. ER on channel 4, mondays at 10pm!!

Wednesday, January 11

neutropenia, low platelets and low haemoglobin.


somethings i've learnt today:

no matter how thoroughly you think you have washed your hands after touching curry, do not attempt to put your contacts in.

it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

experience is the best way of getting round to things. and there is noone more experienced than the Creator of the universe. you just have to trust Him.

being a Christian has many side effects, including a peace and joy, no matter what the circumstances. it also entails carefree living. lots of lots of it...to the point of delirium in some cases (eg. me) and it is precisely because of this that i feel Christians lose a sense of empathy. where has all my empathy gone? how do i counsel a bereaving friend? how do i talk to someone who is stressed to the point of anxiety? how can i say, "you will ride the storm", "these things are only temporal", "do not worry", etc etc...when there is a missing link that spans the two worlds of difference between the redeemed and the yet-to-be-redeemed. this is a toughie... but i guess this mental struggle for words should be left in the hands of the experienced One, who will put the words in our mouth (psalm 81)... this shouting from the mountain tops has to be a little more restrained, i feel. a little more catered to the individual, a little less of shouting sometimes, and more of gentle verses sprinkled in the conversation.

i left my brain in singapore. anaemia and leukamia isn't making sense at the mo.


_ _ _ _ _ _ _

back to my old spot at the corner of the wolfson, behind the plastered wall. watched the rain today as i was doing my pbl, sitting in front of the computer, staring out into the street below... glasgow is lovely in the rain, as long as you're indoors and the heating is on.




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Tuesday, January 10

M&Ms

maybe it's the weather - cold and wet outside, warm and warming up inside,
maybe it's that time of the month (not that time, the other time),
or maybe it's just a case of wanting.
but do i really?

i'm still a little confused. what do i want?

and then there's you. but wait in line please, i need to think. and i think slowly on these matters... arghs. am i being over-zealous? or over-cautious? i'm so rusty, but yes, S____, this is oh so fun!! *hee*

anyhow, your spot diagnosis of my feelings towards my situation corroborated the fact that experience is indeed the most important determinant of worldly wisdom. wow. i'm impressed. the number of people you get impressed with is inversely proportional to your age. so there you go, for impressing a 21 year old such as myself, you must have been really experienced - which you are, of course... but to go or not to go? *bleahs* it's not important, but it's fun and i'm always for the NOW.

medicine is leukaemic as of today. rolled in 2006 with more of mr. smart, mr. funny (who's 'minted' and very furniture-conscious!), little miss goth (my favourite as of yesterday!) and the whole sh'bang.

making medicine merry, making merry medicine, merry making medicine... who needs them drugs when your insides are joyful? lalala lala lala la...(to the tune of 'deck the halls')

hk diaries

one of those moods


"made me feel like the one" stereophonics - 'dakota'.

nope
perhaps it was sometime in between that hug
and your voice in the car.
maybe it could just could be.
or maybe
this delectable fabrication is just
a hiatus
and i'm using you
as an excuse.
or am i really caudal over rostral?
no, i am not, really.
if time weren't time and sense weren't sense
and if i could figure out if this is what i need
right now.
then maybe this diagnosis just might be unequivocal.


it is one of those moods again. i climbed right into this unawares - a steep-walled pit i dig for myself every so often. walled off from the world, friends, contentment.

cynicism, like surround-sound.

nothing will do. nothing, it seems, could make me happy for long, in this whirlworld. great. now where's the escape hatch?

it is found in the promising solitude of sleep.

Friday, January 6

2006

oh great... everyone's posting 'new year blogs' so shall i give into peer pressure and do the same or should i be the epitome of 'cool' and be indifferent to the new year??

i think i shall dabble between the two extremes....

okok. 2005.

i discovered more fully the meaning of God's working of abundant life and grace in my life.
by His grace, i got an A for my exams! (yes, glasgow medics only have one theory paper...)
i made many trips down to london to visit aaron. london is my favouritest big city in the world...
i grew closer to two special guys in glasgow.
i had a spectacular summer break in singapore, the last 10 days of which aaron was around.
i relief-taught primary school kids!
i went to hainan dao with my family and got to know a cool hainanese girl there who is, in obscure and forgettable connections, my relative.
i went to malacca with my extended family.
i found out the true meaning of letting God be the centre of my life.
i realised the importance of fellowship.
fellowship was made most profound in my friendships with ivanna and sarah.
i spent better quality time with my family this christmas break.
i went to hong kong with priscilla, shen and junice and spent an unexpectedly quiet new year's there.
i realised hong kong is way too hyped up.


yeah, the importance of fellowship. since i'm feeling like a lazy ass now and i think sarah's expressed it so well and so accurately, i'll pinch off her blog : "Carol, as is the case with your sporadic returns, each time we hang out is like another burst of firework in the sky, another bucket of red splashed all over town. This friendship has a definite long way more to go, and that is just exciting! Memories of you and Ivanna nodding in sync during the all-esteemed Yong Tau Foo supper (woot!) will not be erased. The joys of understanding! Sisters in Christ, into the break of eternity. That, Carol and Ivanna, the world will never take."
Indeed, sisters in Christ, which time cannot touch, cannot take away. which we can boast about, be proud of, shine forth, break through with, like a light on a mountain top. With you guys, i feel the overflow of the power of the Spirit, the encouragement that we can, indeed, conquer life, conquer the enemy, achieve great feats and receive marvelous revelations...... and know truly, deeply and with conviction, that He has great things in store for us. :) i love you girls. *hugs*


2006:
SARAH'S COMING TO EUROPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (WEE-YOOO WEEET!) Ivanna!!!!! come on over! come summon captain planet with us in amsterdam/paris/london/glasgow and we can spend christmas together!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
working hard at medicine for y3 exams
capoira - (must get white belt!)
plethora of friendships in glasgow to be made stronger!
finding out God's plans for me in glasgow and beyond.
elective with weiyao in china in august
ssm in singapore/glasgow?
more of the triumphant three in june 06!
a white christmas!!! hopefully with my darlinks sarah and ivanna!

Tuesday, December 27

girlfrraaan!

what do you get when you mix three crazy girls, a camera, a room full of stuff toys and lots of free time?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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sarah(earth).carol(water).ivanna(wind).

and our powers combined, we are.... CAPTAIN PLANET! ;)

heee hee... it's amazing what the power of three can do ;)

meanwhile, i'm suffering the soporific effects of a sushi overdose. king kong is still resounding in my mind and the way things are right now, if i'm not leaning on Him, i'd be so close to giving up on life. it's so easy, sometimes, to just pick up your things, say goodbye, and leave the shitpile that you're in... but sometimes you realise you need two hands to clap, you need to sink your teeth in, grip it, and chew, grind it up slowly... and swallow. things take time, processes take time, healing takes time.. and because He is with you, holding your hand, you trust, by Faith, and not by sight (cos it can be ugly) that things will carry through, that things will get better... better than better, better than good. because it doesn't make sense that He made us human to serve Him, to undertake this great task He has commissioned, and not to take care of our mistakes, our mess-ups. cos even our foolish words will be taken for wisdom, even our mistakes, He will bless, our falls, He turns into stepping stones.

KING KONG

KING KONG. is a must watch!!! it's a work of art, an epic romance story in two starkly different settings, an action movie and a comedy. a sheer abominable feat.

things i've learnt after watching king kong:

1. the usefulness of opposable thumbs ( a 25 feet tall silverback gorilla can single-handedly defeat three tyranosaurus-rexes, all whilst holding a 5 foot woman in his other hand.)

2. the frivolousity of racism and superficiality does not spare 25 feet animals.

3. if you're blonde, blue eyed, and a size 4, you can have any creature you want - man or beast.

ironically, watching king kong has reminded me about being human. :)






Friday, December 23

w.o.n.

talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.... that's how we can be, forever, doing... the yin and more optimistic intellectual inclinations and you, the yang of animalistic pessimism... william of normandy conquered london and made france queen. c'est ca! the next time we meet we'll be in ____. but you say two people can be in love but happy with not being together... but great, you're always laughing and oh, you're laughing now, aren't you? "i'll bet that you don't know anybody that could be so bad. but if you did you'd be wondering where i'm at. i'll be home when tomorrow morning comes." superficial inferior epigastric vein.

jazz is the king of pop, who is the queen of soul, but the ruler of all, is the philosophical exposure of the conductress.

Wednesday, December 21

man and God

your whims and your fancies, take over.
race to race, generation to generation,
your ugly head, turning, destroying,
obliterated, we stand.
against you, and yet, scared and afraid.
that small ball of trembling light
inside the deepest darkest recesses of the woman's heart.

"why can't there be less TNA (tits and ass) girls and more library girls?" - nice one, E__, or should i say, nice one, Sarah? ;) somehow i can't seem to get that quote out of my mind... why can't there be less TNA-seeking males and more library males?

I am now a woman in love with DH Lawrence. away from the madness and silliness of the christmas frenzy, i absconded to the national library today and spent an hour reading DHL. a unique and accurate genius, DHL seems to be providing for me what solace i've attempted seeking in the harried people of this world.

"Every day, she went down to the cypress tree, among the cactus grove on the knoll with yellowish cliffs at the foot. She was wiser and subtler now, wearing only a dove-grey wrapper, and sandals. So that in an instant, in any hidden niche, she was naked to the sun. And the moment she was covered again she was grey and invisible.
Every day, in the morning towards the noon, she lay at the foot of the powerful, silver-pawed cypress tree, while the sun strode jovial in heaven. By now she knew the sun in every thread of her body. Her heart of anxiety, that anxious, straining heart, had disappeared altogether, like a flower that falls in the sun, and leaves only a little ripening fruit. And her tense womb, though still closed, was slowly unfolding, slowly, slowly, like a lily bud under water, as the sun mysteriously touched it. Like a lily bud under water it was slowly rising to the sun, to expand at last, to the sun, only to the sun.
She knew the sun in all her body, the blue-molten with his white fire edges, throwing off fire. And, though he shone on all the world, when she lay unclothed, he focussed on her. It was one of the wonders of the sun, he could shine on a million people, and still be the radiant, splendid, unique sun, focussed on her alone."

-Sun. D. H. Lawrence

Like a blossoming flower, facing the sun, i yield and i turn about paths He leads. in everything, for the best. For the best in everything. :)

it's so funny how things work out... it's so funny how millieus make us see the same world differently. i wonder, what coloured lens am i seeing the world with today??? how many types of lens have i acquired from the people i meet, the friends i hang out with, the background i come from, the events that have happened, the things i have seen, the height i have grown? so if this is the case, and we are thereby shaped by the environments we are in, is there such a thing as a correct way of living? is there such a thing as an absolute right or wrong behaviour? why are some people deemed outcasts in society when they are just seeing the world through different lenses? do we, seeing them, put on different lenses to view them?
"let him who is without sin cast the first stone." ,"all things to all men"... not quick to judge, but seeking to understand. switching lenses, switching sides, getting both sides, all the time. only by His strength are all things possible. Amen.

Monday, December 19

lost in transit

oh yes, and how could i forget my eventful 16 hours in london on the flight back...


cakes and creams


the mobhouse that is central london.

holey

oh my gawd i have SUCH a big crush on my hairdresser, it's not funny anymore! why the hell is he so f**ing charming and suave and smooth-talking??? ivanna, how can you not approve of such a funktastic match! *disdainful look*he's sooo freaking cool and funky and he's got the most amazing tattooes (that i want to trace with my finger/trace with my tongue*).
so yes, getting my hair cut by him (+ lots of mutual flirting + lots of running his hands through my hair) is definitely making my trips to the salon worthwhile :) oh my gosh oh my gosh, he wants me to call him the next time i'm going to zouk and he'll buy me a drink!!! oh my gosh oh my gosh! i've been waiting for forever for him to say those words!!!!! (ivanna, please don't kill me)


*delete as deemed characteristic

life in brief:
looks like this wednesday at zouk is materialising... singapore is so happening, in a small-town, psychedelic, quick-fix sort of way... and meanwhile, the book i'm reading is the absolute best way of taking a history tour of london... also... i'm 4 holes holey-ier. today, i got punctured for:

1. tuberculin test
2. hep a vaccine
3. ADT vaccine
4. blood test for Hep B status

ouch. second round on thursday for
5. MMR and
6. poliomyelitis.

and then, i shall be henceforth known as :
antibody girl!

the fantastic 4 in town. string concert w mommy. orchard christmas lights. china black w pris.

Saturday, December 17

xin1 jia1po1

eating, shopping, singing, reading, clubbing. dim sum, sushi, dim sum, sushi. coffee xpress, spinelli's, starbucks, ivanna's kitchen. double cappucinos, double espressos, mochas, 2 in 1 coffees. "the troublesome offspring of cardinal guzman", "london", "the autobiography of george mueller". ivanna, sarah, priscilla, shen, jun. mom, dad, weiming, chance. hot. hot. hot.

Tuesday, December 13

shui2 jiao3 mian4 jia1 cai1


roots manuva (glasgow ABC)

buses have air conditioning and walking makes you perspire. it's funny how the sunlight is so different here. makes everything look so different!

Thursday, December 8

poem wars

specimen #1


specimen #2


specimen#3

goodbye with a bang!


my favourite pub

sigh.. it's the penultimate day in glasgow this term.. how sad! but not without a term-end party tonight, promises of much more partying, drinking, clubbing and gigging next year!!! (jack johnson in february!) wooo hoo! so maybe this holiday in singapore is a compound of three things:

1. sojourn from my busy hectic life these past 10 weeks
SMS (sick medic syndrome)
2. break to see family and friends who aren't in glasgow with me

3. pre-party calm so the party can go on when i return!


yes yes.. but all that said, it's been an eventful 10 weeks - medicine madness, medic mingling, good breakup, church spectacular (x 1 and a half churches), single spending frenzy, hospital life highs, capoeira coaxing, fine dining, london-loving and lana-lexing.... :) my idea of a good time. :)

well, this means singapore and hong kong will only have to be BETTER!

Tuesday, December 6

infectious disease alert

Influenza.

Spread is by droplets. Incubation period 1-4 days. Infectivity 1 day before to 7 days after symptoms start. Immunity Those attacked by one strain are immune to that strain only. Convalescence may be slow.

Symptoms fever, headache, malaise, myalgia, prostration, nausea, vomitting, conjunctivitis/eye pain (even photophobia). Also depression.

Treatment bed rest +- aspirin...
- Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine. 5th ed. 2001. Longmore et al.

yup. unfortunately including the malaise, nausea, conjuctivitis, eye pain, photophobia, as well as depression... bed rest - self-prescribed but non-compliant (because of heavy workload, preoccupation with pbls, packing and classes.) self-prescribed medication: paracetamol (high doses), caffeine (6-7 cups/day), ascorbic acid (2 oranges + 60mg/day) brain function test (self-assesment) : 65% of normal. prognosis : recovery time may be protracted.

Monday, December 5

manuva

a singaporean day in glasgow. i don't ever want to leave...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

how you spin me away to distant lands, to worlds of jazz, mandoulins, Garciaz, marijuana, philosophy, wonderland, the looking glass, dolphins in northern shores, Turner, Spain and ....

just by sitting next to me.

i'll never forget the past, the green shirt and the blush, the investigaton and the outcome. how i failed to see then and how i regret now, the path that could have been.

"i just realise that the numbers don't coincide with the number you choose."
i look at him and say, "you know i realised that ten minutes ago."
"i know."

our silence. materialising my thoughts, understanding my dreams and fulfilling my thirst... for rest. of late i run too fast. your silence suddenly soporific. i hate you for not knowing it, but i love you for feeling this then.

how do i do this? by not trying too hard.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

mediocre minds..... (since when did my haughtiness get above me?)

Saturday, December 3

talk to her


talk to her... one of the most beautiful films i've ever watched.... the story about two comatose women - one a ballet dancer, the other a bullfighter. the former, enamoured by her obsessive male nurse, who persuades the bullfighter's boyfriend to continually 'talk to her'.

wonderfully told, beautiful dance scenes, bullfight scenes and pantomime acts sprinkled throughout...

to me, it's the story about love, loss, lonliness and, above all, how complicated life can be twisted, how lives can be so intimately and sadistically intertwined to the point of agony, stoism and to breaking point.


_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

12:01am yes.. friendship... how queer!

how very queer. but it doesn't matter. we all are intertwined in the same pattern. each unique, but like.. a bunch of noodles, inter-related, inter-dependent in a way, learning, living and dying. but getting stronger at the same time. :)

life is beautiful if you look at it the right way. :)



Thursday, December 1

so much work

arhgss!!! medics on my left, medics on my right, medics EVERYWHERE and we're all doing the same thing - STUDYING!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

why are there so many types of arrythmias.. can't they just classify heart conduction as regular or irregular, brady or tachy? why the need to classify so many different types of bundle branch blocks??? arghs....... :( lemme complain.. stoopid cardiologists... can imagine them in a ward full of people with funny heartbeats conncted to ecgs and they just went round the room while the patients' hearts were fluttering away, looking at their heart traces...... doctors...

uh huh huh huh.... this doesn't change the fact that i have to know them ALLLLLLL........ Sinus bradycardia, Sinus Tachycardia, Premature atrial contractions ("PAC's"), Premature ventricular contractions ("PVC's"), Paroxysmal supraventricular tachycardia ("PSVT"), Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome ("WPW"), Atrial fibrillation, Atrial flutter, "Sick sinus syndrome" and "tachy-brady" syndrome, Slow heart rhythms, Bundle Branch Blocks, Conduction Blocks - first degree, second degree: mobitz type 1, Wenckebach, 2:1, 3:1, complete heart block...

UH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH ......... :(

why? .....