7 minutes

... and she thought she had the truth by the collar, she thought she knew truth through and through, inside to outside, she thought she lived truth and truth slept with her and whispered to her day by day. but then one day she awoke to find that truth had gone. truth had gone to sleep with another. and she was lost, and she was desperate for truth again. because the world was darkened and nothing made sense to her as it used to. so she searched the earth for truth, but truth was nowhere to be found.... and then the big man said to her, "sometimes the search for truth is more important that the truth itself." and she let that relative truth hang in her head for a while. she let it sink, she soaked it in, she half-bought it and she analysed it, never letting that relative truth get the better of her, for she was the wiser... and then she eventually accepted that the truth was a whisper in days like these and with acceptance came the responsibility of attaining the standards of the truth, the way and the life. and so she buckled it round her waist, and hope glittered her steps and her courage was blind faith. she knew not what lay ahead of her, but she knew she was going to be fine. :) 

random hearts

we are all entitled to our own insecurities. but do we dare take that leap? do we dare take His word for real and apply it to our lives and to just GO and live. to go and dream, to dare to live? do we? do we dare force ourselves into awkward situations and force ourselves to jump out of the box and to push harder and fly higher and fight on? do we? does it make a difference whether or not we get what we want in life? does it make a difference whether or not we try? is there a difference between wanting and working for it? is self-worth a currency too dear for us to afford? jeremiah 29 and deut 28. how many dreams have we swallowed? how many dreams have we let fade into non-existence? how many words of our own have we eaten? how many resolutions have we broken? were they worth the ineffort? psalm 90. because it is Your work You have called us to do too. but how do i know? i know because of the very fact that i'm doing them now. cos if it was something else, You would have made it different. And if it's not meant to be forever, it will only be for a season, and You will make that change, i need not worry, i need not fuss. I need not work as hard as the other people who do not pray... but fortunately for myself, i am a woman of prayer. psalm 109.

it's true, what weiyao said... about hating what he hates. he has made me come to hate it too.. but... sometimes it's not in my control.. is this? my soliloquy is getting a little rhetorical. who will bounce with me? it is looking bleak tonight....

a day in the life of

once upon a time there was a bouncy yellow ball who had no friends. he wasn't like any of the other bouncy yellow balls.. this bouncy yellow ball had appendages.. lots of them. and he was ugly. u.g.l.y. ugly. then one day, it was sunny and this bouncy yellow ball was taken out of his lonely home and brought to the kelvingrove park, where he was thrown about, flung, caught, snatched. he flew through the air in quick passes, lobs, pops! he was snatched about, his appendages pulled, he was pulled at from all directions from different pairs of hands! he had never felt so wanted, so ALIVE! for once in his lifetime, he found that his appendages were useful for something after all! it was so easy to catch the bouncy yellow ball from one of his long appendages! never before had he been so wanted, so sought after!
"everyone wants me today! they can't get their hands off of me and they're beating each other up and tackling each other, trampling on top of each other and running after me wherever i go!" he thought.

and so it was on that fateful sunday that the bouncy yellow ball lived. and what a gloriously happy ball he was after that.

the end.

dead and buried

meanwhile, amidst 'colon scoppee and the infinite madness' of studying the whole of the GI system in two days, i have taken to finding an outlet of relieving my braincells of the arduous imbibing demanded on them by the masters of medicine.... and since there is

(a) no music room
(b) no guitar

in the study landscape, i shall take to blogging wrecklessly about nothing at all, based on no objective evidence, based on no rational thought...

click to view the enemies.

click me! for: The Future of the British, as anticipated by the goverment....

meanwhile, God, You're so funny, yes You are! haha... i'm laughing, but i'm also delighted to hear more of what You have to say... *grin*

and everyone should come to maggie's hk cafe, especially if you're:
(a) hungry
(b) stressed
(c) bored
(d) interested in chinese servitude
(e) missing asia
(f) like me, all of the above.

......

carol's current neuronal synaptic saturation : 30%

blood and sweat flow mingled down

it is lent... how many times i've actually remembered to remember, i forget......how often we busy up our lives to the point where God is so distant, so far away, so not part of your life, outside your circle of friends, outside your consciousness...not there?
i've come clean. this morning, one of the dwindling number of mornings i actually sat with You and talked to you, had breakfast with You, put aside my notes, put aside my worries, put aside my anxieties, my cares, my concerns about the exam, my selfish thoughts of me, me, me... and paid You the homage you deserve... remembering what You did those 2000 years ago on that day of the unexplained darkening, the day of that unexplained earthquake, the day of that unexplained death........
the ultimate death that defeated all deaths.
and yet, with that, so many unknowns...so much yet to be revealed...- just like Life. just like my life. and it is so easy to be afraid..it is so easy to think it's not okay...

but No! the death that defeated all deaths, the empty crown upon the empty throne. (was all of heaven crying on the day you left???)... the robes of majesty laid aside, the blood and sweat flow mingled down, the pain of hurt and anger and solitude and darkness and sin and disease and unbelief and rejection and pain.. how could You have let them do that to you???
why did you die for me? what kind of God...?





silence








but no, You say it is okay. and You ask me to take Your hands..and then i understand. and i know now, that for this Love, it was okay.

BLB

so picture this... bright, sunny, beautiful mid-spring day, flowers are out, scents are in the air, skies are blue, squirrels are out and about from their squirrel homes and everyone's got their shades, children and dogs out... and the first thing that comes to my mind this morning is, "i need to properly revise pneumonia today before revision session with the guys. what should i pack for lunch and should i have filter coffee or should i have instant coffee instead? but first, what shall i have for breakfast.. but wait, i had an early dinner last night, but i'm not feeling hungry!! but that's probably because my stress response has dampened my sensitivity to hunger with various hormonal systems.. these include ACTH.. what does ACTH do again???......" and then, as i pick up my M.A.C. concealer (works miracles!), ready to put on my makeup before the routine trip to the library and i think, "MAC - mycobacterium avium complex. yesss! i can remember what it stands for!" and then hours later, over at rob's flat, i let out a massive outburst at the mention of the mitchell library and had to confess to 3 other medics that i do love spending time in libraries and it was then that i realised, "oh my goodness, carol, you are such a geek!!!"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _

the best tasting leftovers in glasgow tonight.

meanwhile, it is soooo hard to find food that hits a spot in these chinese-deprived british cities... arghs... leaving me to my own devices... *grumble* i totally miss it in singapore when u can have a taste in mind, walk out of the door, come back in a half hour with just the right snack / dish to satiate your craving... it's totally not happening here... disgusting! what i need right now would be those bo luo buns from crystal jade kitchen... oh my word.. what i would give for one of those right now.... bo luo bun bo luo bun bo luo bun bo luo bun bo luo bun bo luo bun bo luo bun bo luo bun...

watch this space.

watch this space : LENT BLOG 2006 .

no other

"Remember the former things,
those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.
I make known the end from the begining,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say: My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please."
-Isaiah 46:9-10

10 things i love about me!

10 reasons why carol is a nice, happy girl:

1. she has recently found her voice in julie doiron.
2. she has lots of shiny, happy friends!
3. she gets her 5 servings of fruit and veg!
4. she has lots of nice clothes!
5. she has healthy, shiny, black hair!
6. she is happy where she is and doing what she does!
7. she has a balanced study and social life!
8. she has recently been getting to know her guitar better!
9. she is single and carefree!
10. she has the best Daddy who loves and takes care of her no matter what the circumstances, no matter if she has friends or not, no matter if she has money or not, whether or not she has friends, no matter which country she is in and whether or not she's been naughty or nice. :)
and He is also the single one person she aims to please.

singapore.glasgow.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"my people.... will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will receive a double portion in their land, and everylasting joy will be theirs." - Isaiah 61:7

in blue

amazing soundtrack, by the way... meanwhile, preparing for these exams is just totally not in line with my social timetable... i've been going out way too much and spending way too much for my own good, plus i'm on the high of wearing blue... this blue exactly. my new favourite colour, even better that blue's in season this spring!.... anyway, yeah, back to the social issue... way too many friends to handle this week... i'm complaining, but i really do love it. i do love people! although i think medicine will have to take priority this time... so don't feel bad if i reject you.. but gimme 7 more weeks.. 7 more weeks and i'll be free as one of these bad boys :
but in the meantime.... the effects of thyroid hormones...

v is for very entertained.

'v is for vendetta' today.. rushed through the underground into town just in time to just miss the first 15 minutes of the film... thank goodness for friends who are willing to leave the theatre mid-show. :) anyhow, i totally loved it. was well impressed with natalie portman's english accent, although my scottish mates weren't... so there you go, international ignorace. it's brilliant. *grin*

...just the whole way the filming was done, the characters, the colours, the darkness of it all, such a highly controversial topic, resurrected by the director, and anachronistically set into future london. well, i thought it was highly entertaining, despite what the critics might say, (or what they want us to believe?? esoteric post-vendetta jest...) i loved it.. plus i'll need to watch the first 15 minutes too.

i just have to say this, how irrelevant it may be to my thoughts on the film, that 'v' has totally rekindled my love for london - the coming together of high art, pop culture, centuries of history, markets, business districts, parks, stations... arghs. i don't want to go on....plus that i've started where i left off on 'london' by edward rutherford... the last time i touched it must've been about 3 months ago... london's amazing, but now i have glasgow, and glasgow is lovely too. :) so yes, enjoying london from glasgow today was quite nice. like sitting on top of a green hill and looking over to the other greener hill in the distance, but contented with the grass on this side, but still being able to be happy for the people on the greener pastures. you know what i mean.

 

revising my thoughts

was just skimming through the bbc website as usual... and reading about the cockling deaths tragedy when i stumbled upon this comment :

"By the 1990s, British-born Chinese had emerged as one of the top groups in schools, consistently out-performing other ethnicities and often beating white children." full text here.

so, yes, as is according to the masterplan, chinese will soon take over the world.. it's all just a matter of time. *evil squinty eyed look*... but seriously, i think it's all to do with our education system from asia.... total force-feeding and coercive, borderline-legal methods of stuffing little children, who lack autonomy and willpower, into a multitude of classes and courses... take me for example.. i was forced into organ lessons, piano lessons, ballet, and evenings with mommy over timetables and ladybird books, all before i could even say the word "cultured". however, i rebelled and managed to lie my way out of piano lessons and eventually made my parents realise their folly - that their daughter really wasn't interested in becoming a child mozart. so they took me off piano lessons. mind you, i still remember that day of utter ambivalence- freedom, but now what?

12 years down the road and here i am, piano skills stagnant at grade 3, barely able to tell you which notes have sharps and sight-reading asunder...totally regretting my action then... yes, it was against my volition and will, yes, i absolutely hated it, yes, i hated those afternoons i wished i wasn't there... but how i wish i never had given it up. i wish my parents had just asked me to grin and bear it a little longer....

where we are today was due to what we did yesterday and where we are tomorrow depends on what we do today. and most of the time, we don't know what's best for us. i still don't know what's best for me.. except, now even my parent's can't tell me what's best for me. and that's the tricky part - because who are we accountable to now? what happens when the decisions we make are the wrong ones? who's going to direct us then? is adulthood the learning curve of greatest acceleration because it is also the time of greatest err? and who are we accountable to? ourselves? God? people around us? our idols? the law?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

everything is meaningless, ... for 'this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labour under the sun. whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge, nor wisdom.' - ecclesiasties 9:9-10. life can be so depressing without God.... religion too, is a choice, it seems.

in love

i had such a good time last night. totally spontaneous thing, needed a break from the incessant studying i've been doing.. a night of mindless banter, good japanese, great ice-cream and drinks after at frankenstein. such a great way to end a day which started at the gym, lunch with medics at the qmu, studying for 5 hours and dinner at home... (yes, i did have 2 dinners. :) but hey, what can ya do when you're such a wanted woman eh?)

but yes, was a good day, that could have ended pathetically - (alone at home watching medicine soaps on laptop over vegetables and rice...)

so yes, my first soul-artiste friend! woo hoo! watch me rise up the ranks of the rich and famous! heh heh.. plus, i now have a connection to hugh laurie (ie the love of my life)- he's co-stars with an ex-flatmate of a friend's friend. ace.

so it's yet another observation from a familiar friend of my peculiar preferences in members of the opposite sex. problem is i can't remember if i told you or if you observed it or if you bothered to go find out from someone else. but i do know that i would be really disconcerted if it were either the second or third option...

_ _ _

meanwhile, the Holy Spirit, who has been gently egging me on to be a better Christian, to be a better person, to be a better servant, to be a better friend/ flatmate/ medic/ girl. would you tell me how can it be any better than this? all because i have believed and called upon Your name.

"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,

with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption...

Be kind and compassionate to one another,

forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you...

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. " - Eph 4:30- 5:1 (selected)

it's wonderful to be in Love...

an ode to ambivalence.

Eloisa to Abelard

In these deep solitudes and awful cells,Where heav'nly-pensive contemplation dwells,And ever-musing melancholy reigns;What means this tumult in a vestal's veins?Why rove my thoughts beyond this last retreat?Why feels my heart its long-forgotten heat?Yet, yet I love! — From Abelard it came,And Eloisa yet must kiss the name.
Dear fatal name! rest ever unreveal'd,Nor pass these lips in holy silence seal'd.Hide it, my heart, within that close disguise,Where mix'd with God's, his lov'd idea lies:O write it not, my hand — the name appearsAlready written — wash it out, my tears!In vain lost Eloisa weeps and prays,Her heart still dictates, and her hand obeys.
Relentless walls! whose darksome round containsRepentant sighs, and voluntary pains:Ye rugged rocks! which holy knees have worn;Ye grots and caverns shagg'd with horrid thorn!Shrines! where their vigils pale-ey'd virgins keep,And pitying saints, whose statues learn to weep!Though cold like you, unmov'd, and silent grown,I have not yet forgot myself to stone.All is not Heav'n's while Abelard has part,Still rebel nature holds out half my heart;Nor pray'rs nor fasts its stubborn pulse restrain,Nor tears, for ages, taught to flow in vain.
Soon as thy letters trembling I unclose,That well-known name awakens all my woes.Oh name for ever sad! for ever dear!Still breath'd in sighs, still usher'd with a tear.I tremble too, where'er my own I find,Some dire misfortune follows close behind.Line after line my gushing eyes o'erflow,Led through a sad variety of woe:Now warm in love, now with'ring in thy bloom,Lost in a convent's solitary gloom!There stern religion quench'd th' unwilling flame,There died the best of passions, love and fame.
Yet write, oh write me all, that I may joinGriefs to thy griefs, and echo sighs to thine.Nor foes nor fortune take this pow'r away;And is my Abelard less kind than they?Tears still are mine, and those I need not spare,Love but demands what else were shed in pray'r;No happier task these faded eyes pursue;To read and weep is all they now can do.
Then share thy pain, allow that sad relief;Ah, more than share it! give me all thy grief.Heav'n first taught letters for some wretch's aid,Some banish'd lover, or some captive maid;They live, they speak, they breathe what love inspires,Warm from the soul, and faithful to its fires,The virgin's wish without her fears impart,Excuse the blush, and pour out all the heart,Speed the soft intercourse from soul to soul,And waft a sigh from Indus to the Pole.
Thou know'st how guiltless first I met thy flame,When Love approach'd me under Friendship's name;My fancy form'd thee of angelic kind,Some emanation of th' all-beauteous Mind.Those smiling eyes, attemp'ring ev'ry day,Shone sweetly lambent with celestial day.Guiltless I gaz'd; heav'n listen'd while you sung;And truths divine came mended from that tongue.From lips like those what precept fail'd to move?Too soon they taught me 'twas no sin to love.Back through the paths of pleasing sense I ran,Nor wish'd an Angel whom I lov'd a Man.Dim and remote the joys of saints I see;Nor envy them, that heav'n I lose for thee.
How oft, when press'd to marriage, have I said,Curse on all laws but those which love has made!Love, free as air, at sight of human ties,Spreads his light wings, and in a moment flies,Let wealth, let honour, wait the wedded dame,August her deed, and sacred be her fame;Before true passion all those views remove,Fame, wealth, and honour! what are you to Love?The jealous God, when we profane his fires,Those restless passions in revenge inspires;And bids them make mistaken mortals groan,Who seek in love for aught but love alone.Should at my feet the world's great master fall,Himself, his throne, his world, I'd scorn 'em all:Not Caesar's empress would I deign to prove;No, make me mistress to the man I love;If there be yet another name more free,More fond than mistress, make me that to thee!Oh happy state! when souls each other draw,When love is liberty, and nature, law:All then is full, possessing, and possess'd,No craving void left aching in the breast:Ev'n thought meets thought, ere from the lips it part,And each warm wish springs mutual from the heart.This sure is bliss (if bliss on earth there be)And once the lot of Abelard and me.
Alas, how chang'd! what sudden horrors rise!A naked lover bound and bleeding lies!Where, where was Eloise? her voice, her hand,Her poniard, had oppos'd the dire command.Barbarian, stay! that bloody stroke restrain;The crime was common, common be the pain.I can no more; by shame, by rage suppress'd,Let tears, and burning blushes speak the rest.
Canst thou forget that sad, that solemn day,When victims at yon altar's foot we lay?Canst thou forget what tears that moment fell,When, warm in youth, I bade the world farewell?As with cold lips I kiss'd the sacred veil,The shrines all trembl'd, and the lamps grew pale:Heav'n scarce believ'd the conquest it survey'd,And saints with wonder heard the vows I made.Yet then, to those dread altars as I drew,Not on the Cross my eyes were fix'd, but you:Not grace, or zeal, love only was my call,And if I lose thy love, I lose my all.Come! with thy looks, thy words, relieve my woe;Those still at least are left thee to bestow.Still on that breast enamour'd let me lie,Still drink delicious poison from thy eye,Pant on thy lip, and to thy heart be press'd;Give all thou canst — and let me dream the rest.Ah no! instruct me other joys to prize,With other beauties charm my partial eyes,Full in my view set all the bright abode,And make my soul quit Abelard for God.
Ah, think at least thy flock deserves thy care,Plants of thy hand, and children of thy pray'r.From the false world in early youth they fled,By thee to mountains, wilds, and deserts led.You rais'd these hallow'd walls; the desert smil'd,And Paradise was open'd in the wild.No weeping orphan saw his father's storesOur shrines irradiate, or emblaze the floors;No silver saints, by dying misers giv'n,Here brib'd the rage of ill-requited heav'n:But such plain roofs as piety could raise,And only vocal with the Maker's praise.In these lone walls (their days eternal bound)These moss-grown domes with spiry turrets crown'd,Where awful arches make a noonday night,And the dim windows shed a solemn light;Thy eyes diffus'd a reconciling ray,And gleams of glory brighten'd all the day.But now no face divine contentment wears,'Tis all blank sadness, or continual tears.See how the force of others' pray'rs I try,(O pious fraud of am'rous charity!)But why should I on others' pray'rs depend?Come thou, my father, brother, husband, friend!Ah let thy handmaid, sister, daughter move,And all those tender names in one, thy love!The darksome pines that o'er yon rocks reclin'dWave high, and murmur to the hollow wind,The wand'ring streams that shine between the hills,The grots that echo to the tinkling rills,The dying gales that pant upon the trees,The lakes that quiver to the curling breeze;No more these scenes my meditation aid,Or lull to rest the visionary maid.But o'er the twilight groves and dusky caves,Long-sounding aisles, and intermingled graves,Black Melancholy sits, and round her throwsA death-like silence, and a dread repose:Her gloomy presence saddens all the scene,Shades ev'ry flow'r, and darkens ev'ry green,Deepens the murmur of the falling floods,And breathes a browner horror on the woods.
Yet here for ever, ever must I stay;Sad proof how well a lover can obey!Death, only death, can break the lasting chain;And here, ev'n then, shall my cold dust remain,Here all its frailties, all its flames resign,And wait till 'tis no sin to mix with thine.
Ah wretch! believ'd the spouse of God in vain,Confess'd within the slave of love and man.Assist me, Heav'n! but whence arose that pray'r?Sprung it from piety, or from despair?Ev'n here, where frozen chastity retires,Love finds an altar for forbidden fires.I ought to grieve, but cannot what I ought;I mourn the lover, not lament the fault;I view my crime, but kindle at the view,Repent old pleasures, and solicit new;Now turn'd to Heav'n, I weep my past offence,Now think of thee, and curse my innocence.Of all affliction taught a lover yet,'Tis sure the hardest science to forget!How shall I lose the sin, yet keep the sense,And love th' offender, yet detest th' offence?How the dear object from the crime remove,Or how distinguish penitence from love?Unequal task! a passion to resign,For hearts so touch'd, so pierc'd, so lost as mine.Ere such a soul regains its peaceful state,How often must it love, how often hate!How often hope, despair, resent, regret,Conceal, disdain — do all things but forget.But let Heav'n seize it, all at once 'tis fir'd;Not touch'd, but rapt; not waken'd, but inspir'd!Oh come! oh teach me nature to subdue,Renounce my love, my life, myself — and you.Fill my fond heart with God alone, for heAlone can rival, can succeed to thee.
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!The world forgetting, by the world forgot.Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;"Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.Grace shines around her with serenest beams,And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms,And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,For her white virgins hymeneals sing,To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away,And melts in visions of eternal day.
Far other dreams my erring soul employ,Far other raptures, of unholy joy:When at the close of each sad, sorrowing day,Fancy restores what vengeance snatch'd away,Then conscience sleeps, and leaving nature free,All my loose soul unbounded springs to thee.Oh curs'd, dear horrors of all-conscious night!How glowing guilt exalts the keen delight!Provoking Daemons all restraint remove,And stir within me every source of love.I hear thee, view thee, gaze o'er all thy charms,And round thy phantom glue my clasping arms.I wake — no more I hear, no more I view,The phantom flies me, as unkind as you.I call aloud; it hears not what I say;I stretch my empty arms; it glides away.To dream once more I close my willing eyes;Ye soft illusions, dear deceits, arise!Alas, no more — methinks we wand'ring goThrough dreary wastes, and weep each other's woe,Where round some mould'ring tower pale ivy creeps,And low-brow'd rocks hang nodding o'er the deeps.Sudden you mount, you beckon from the skies;Clouds interpose, waves roar, and winds arise.I shriek, start up, the same sad prospect find,And wake to all the griefs I left behind.
For thee the fates, severely kind, ordainA cool suspense from pleasure and from pain;Thy life a long, dead calm of fix'd repose;No pulse that riots, and no blood that glows.Still as the sea, ere winds were taught to blow,Or moving spirit bade the waters flow;Soft as the slumbers of a saint forgiv'n,And mild as opening gleams of promis'd heav'n.
Come, Abelard! for what hast thou to dread?The torch of Venus burns not for the dead.Nature stands check'd; Religion disapproves;Ev'n thou art cold — yet Eloisa loves.Ah hopeless, lasting flames! like those that burnTo light the dead, and warm th' unfruitful urn.
What scenes appear where'er I turn my view?The dear ideas, where I fly, pursue,Rise in the grove, before the altar rise,Stain all my soul, and wanton in my eyes.I waste the matin lamp in sighs for thee,Thy image steals between my God and me,Thy voice I seem in ev'ry hymn to hear,With ev'ry bead I drop too soft a tear.When from the censer clouds of fragrance roll,And swelling organs lift the rising soul,One thought of thee puts all the pomp to flight,Priests, tapers, temples, swim before my sight:In seas of flame my plunging soul is drown'd,While altars blaze, and angels tremble round.
While prostrate here in humble grief I lie,Kind, virtuous drops just gath'ring in my eye,While praying, trembling, in the dust I roll,And dawning grace is op'ning on my soul:Come, if thou dar'st, all charming as thou art!Oppose thyself to Heav'n; dispute my heart;Come, with one glance of those deluding eyesBlot out each bright idea of the skies;Take back that grace, those sorrows, and those tears;Take back my fruitless penitence and pray'rs;Snatch me, just mounting, from the blest abode;Assist the fiends, and tear me from my God!
No, fly me, fly me, far as pole from pole;Rise Alps between us! and whole oceans roll!Ah, come not, write not, think not once of me,Nor share one pang of all I felt for thee.Thy oaths I quit, thy memory resign;Forget, renounce me, hate whate'er was mine.Fair eyes, and tempting looks (which yet I view!)Long lov'd, ador'd ideas, all adieu!Oh Grace serene! oh virtue heav'nly fair!Divine oblivion of low-thoughted care!Fresh blooming hope, gay daughter of the sky!And faith, our early immortality!Enter, each mild, each amicable guest;Receive, and wrap me in eternal rest!
See in her cell sad Eloisa spread,Propp'd on some tomb, a neighbour of the dead.In each low wind methinks a spirit calls,And more than echoes talk along the walls.Here, as I watch'd the dying lamps around,From yonder shrine I heard a hollow sound."Come, sister, come!" (it said, or seem'd to say)"Thy place is here, sad sister, come away!Once like thyself, I trembled, wept, and pray'd,Love's victim then, though now a sainted maid:But all is calm in this eternal sleep;Here grief forgets to groan, and love to weep,Ev'n superstition loses ev'ry fear:For God, not man, absolves our frailties here."
I come, I come! prepare your roseate bow'rs,Celestial palms, and ever-blooming flow'rs.Thither, where sinners may have rest, I go,Where flames refin'd in breasts seraphic glow:Thou, Abelard! the last sad office pay,And smooth my passage to the realms of day;See my lips tremble, and my eye-balls roll,Suck my last breath, and catch my flying soul!Ah no — in sacred vestments may'st thou stand,The hallow'd taper trembling in thy hand,Present the cross before my lifted eye,Teach me at once, and learn of me to die.Ah then, thy once-lov'd Eloisa see!It will be then no crime to gaze on me.See from my cheek the transient roses fly!See the last sparkle languish in my eye!Till ev'ry motion, pulse, and breath be o'er;And ev'n my Abelard be lov'd no more.O Death all-eloquent! you only proveWhat dust we dote on, when 'tis man we love.
Then too, when fate shall thy fair frame destroy,(That cause of all my guilt, and all my joy)In trance ecstatic may thy pangs be drown'd,Bright clouds descend, and angels watch thee round,From op'ning skies may streaming glories shine,And saints embrace thee with a love like mine.
May one kind grave unite each hapless name,And graft my love immortal on thy fame!Then, ages hence, when all my woes are o'er,When this rebellious heart shall beat no more;If ever chance two wand'ring lovers bringsTo Paraclete's white walls and silver springs,O'er the pale marble shall they join their heads,And drink the falling tears each other sheds;Then sadly say, with mutual pity mov'd,"Oh may we never love as these have lov'd!"
From the full choir when loud Hosannas rise,And swell the pomp of dreadful sacrifice,Amid that scene if some relenting eyeGlance on the stone where our cold relics lie,Devotion's self shall steal a thought from Heav'n,One human tear shall drop and be forgiv'n.And sure, if fate some future bard shall joinIn sad similitude of griefs to mine,Condemn'd whole years in absence to deplore,And image charms he must behold no more;Such if there be, who loves so long, so well;Let him our sad, our tender story tell;The well-sung woes will soothe my pensive ghost;He best can paint 'em, who shall feel 'em most.

-Alexander Pope, 1717

i choose life

"Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob." - Deut 30:20

oh how enjoyable it is to work out my salvation. and how wonderous it is to take a step of faith, walking by faith and not by sight, not only cos my spinocerebellar and dorsal column tracts are in tact, but also because my divine creator holds my hand.

so it's my last day at chinese church today. led worship too, a spiritual satisfaction, as it always is to me. and findlay in the morning as well was AMMAAAZING.

little miss naughty is ____. again. but seeing as how the last two faded in and out by conscious control (effected by the limbic system and other vague regions in the frontal cortex) relatively easily, i think this one might as well. tis sad. bittersweet more like... when a girl can't get what she wants.

but yes, in conclusion : left church. final worship. new church. new church good.

it's midnight exactly! 00:00.

it's easter break. not sure if i should put an ! at the end of that... mainly cos noone's left behind and those who are are studying their assess off anyways... arghs... time to drown my sorrows in a bittersweet guitar tune....

achtung!

so another swell time has brought carol to the end (well, self-declared one anyways) of block 14 of medicine... things i've been busy with :

1. martin luther gig at the arches was blooody amaazin'!!!!!! martin luther is ONE BEAUTIFUL MAN. even managed to chat to him after the gig and was totally gettin in there with him...(well, okay so only in my fantasies, but i did manage to chat to him and get a photo, which we look terrible in, so shan't post it...) check out the roots here. you won't regret it. amazing, except the glaswegian crowd were bloody pathetic. i was soo embarassed for the poor guy... i thought he was a mighty fine performer, but our dear glaswegian white-ass punks weren't having any of it. it was just me, ma two homies and two random guys behind us working the mosh pit... i mean, come on, we're in the presence of the legend, what's up with the nonchalence man??? and his electric guitar was sheer sound and soo very soothing... oh and he was all too easy on the eyes... yummy.

2. snow! it snowed!!!!!!!!! okay, i shan't say anymore and let the photos speak for themselves... but yes, all glasgow rejoiced with us...

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meanwhile, exam in about 10 weeks.. decided not to go to ireland this easter, cos it's all to near the exams and everyone's got the dreaded exams on their minds, yes, even the irish. in fact, especially the irish... so belfast will have to wait.. but that's cool, cos it'S geneva this summer!!! woooo peeeee dooo!!!! it pays to have friends overseas!!! switzerland here i commmeeee!!!! and hopefully china after for my elective...... but meanwhile, need to get through 3rd year first. ah.. i love medicine though, so i guess it's a pleasure.

meanwhile, God has been good, as usual.. verse of the day: "To this end, i labour, struggling with all His energy, which so powerfully works in me." - Col 1:29.

2am, saturday, cranworth street, glasgow.

byres road, saturday night.

i would give everything

"all things to all men."

once again, You have the answer to my every question.
kneel before your God.

all creation rightly gives You praise. :)

psalm 121

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills -

where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip -

he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you -

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm -

he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

psychiatry is one big pile of question marks, and the kind of question marks only neurologists and psychiatrists would be interested in solving. meanwhile, i, the average medical student will only fumble and fall, groping in the dark, trying to scratch the surface to behold that 'ground glass effect' that also occurs while communicating with a thought-dysfunctional psychotic. (not that i was comparing psychiatrists to psychotics......)

meanwhile, God has the answer to every problem. but working it out with You is also fun! heee. problem solving with Daddy! yayyy....

meanwhile, film-buff carol was at it again with a new convert(?) last night. all about my mother another one of pedro's great films. you guys must gather by now that i'm a fan of his... this one entailed a palpable fascination with women, a blurring of the line between male and female, an erosion of the zeitgeist of the roles of women in urban society and the most amazing quote i have ever heard in favour of plastic surgery :

"a woman is more authentic the more she looks like what she has dreamed for herself."

- agrado

or in my intepretation, authenticity is becoming closer to what you want to become.

plastic surgery - a function of materialism or an individual's journey to a discovery of self? i;d say not mutually exclusive and highly dependent on the individual. it's true though... how some people just don't seem to fit into their bodies...i wonder if i can truly become what i see myself to be....

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girl, uninterrupted

You Should Get An All Over Tattoo

Outrageous and funky Because you should never have to choose just one tattoo

What Tattoo Should You Get?

You Are Aphrodite!

A total shining star with a ton of admirers And no wonder: you live life to the fullest! When things get bad, you can easily take off to a happier place But occasionally, you need to deal with problems head on

What Goddess Are You?

this is getting freakkky.... it's so true! (except for the admirers bit... come out, come out, wherever you arE!!)

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

thoughts are put in my head by radio transmitters

i'm bored, but i shouldn't be.... schizophrenia is what's on the to-do list. interestingly, the 'season of birth effect'... 'refers to the well-replicated epidemiological finding that schizophrenic patients are more likely by 7-15% to be born between Februaruy and May in the Northern Hemisphere and between June and October in the Southern Hemisphere (Mortensen et al. 1999)'

-Core psychiatry. 2nd edition. Wright et al. Elsevier Saunders. 2005. p244

oooh.... i'm at a higher risk of being a schizophrenic. she is so excited. she is intrigued..

meanwhile, i am trying to deny myself the pleasures of the blogging-addiction.. not blogging itself, but reading random blogs. tapping into the mind of christian bloggers... mmmm.. yummy. and i'm also fighting myself (in a totally non-schizophrenic-type way) regarding affairs of the heart... and mind, so to speak... it's funny, how i'm feeling.. like this feeling wasn't of my own, but of something higher.. okay, this is freaky sounding, and one of Kurt's first rank symptoms for schizophrenia, but this is purely an incidental finding....

in endless bliss, His own shall prove

the view from my window.

"...(emotions) cannot be turned on and off at will...Another characteristic of the limbic circuits is their prolonged after-discharge following stimulation. This may explain in part the fact that emotional responses are generally prolonged rather than evanescent and outlast the stimuli that intiate them... "

-p260. review of medical physiology. ganong. 21st edition. mcgraw hill. new york.2003.

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my favourite hymn as of now : (click to listen)

1.The love of Christ is rich and free;
Fixed on His own eternally;
Nor earth, nor hell, can it remove;
Long as He lives, His own He'll love.
.
.
.
3. Love has redeemed His sheep with blood;
And love will bring them safe to God;
Love calls them all from death to life;
And love will finish all their strife.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

meanwhile, it's meant to be spring (1st march) but it's been showers of snow and bitterly cold sunny days for now. *deep sigh* it's that time again.. the time of Change. "nothing stays the same, only man's constant resistant to change.." - from carol the wise. wow. i'm spouting wisdom now.. think it's a symptom of old age. "God never closes another door without.... " i just have to remind myself...

meanwhile, i think it's about time i should get busy with studying... exams in a little over 10 weeks... 10 WEEKS! and where on earth is my ipod?... TNT said scotland deliveries had to be cancelled cos of the bad weather.. pooofy.. which means an extra few days without music for me. so bad weather = no postal servive = no ipod for me = no music.... well, ok so i'm exagerrating.. the ol md player still works (albeit badly..) and since my single-handed wipe-out of my c: drive, my sonic stage is no longer around for me to upload songs onto my md player... so it's been a repeat of : roots manuva, propellerheads, beastie boys, lemon jelly, nouvelle vague, corrinne may and lifehouse really... i need new music! jazz-ma-tazz, me thinks.. once the ipod is in...

the uni today.

I'm 22 for a moment...

my, what long life i have......................

Life Expectancy Calculator

Results:

If you continue maintaining healthy habits, you'll want to plan for a maximum life expectancy of 102 years or more. (!!!!!!!)
Your "ideal" weight for maximum longevity is: 133 lbs.
The three biggest positive factors that you have going for you are:
1. Age 2. Gender 3. Age of parents

The one biggest negative factor that you have going for you is:
1. Family health

it keeps me leaving me needing you

oh my word... house is so damned sexy. i'm currently at 'sports medicine', episode 1-12. i can' get enough! as addictive as vicodin. and he likes monster trucks! how cool is that?

meanwhile, my scotch broth is still my favourite dish... mmmmmmmm :)

mindless

it's been a while since i was this relaxed.... today i _____, but for no rhyme or reason.

looking through old video clips and photos in an attempt to clean up my laptop... it's true what they say.. it's funny, how i always remembered my past was never as good as where i am now, but that's just a psychological pacification system the brain must simulate... a mini-adaptation process, an opioid for the daily drudge/routine/getting on with work/adulthood. so yes, i had a youth, with tons of photos and videos for evidence.

when your mind is a mess so is mine i can't sleep
because it hurts when i think when my thoughts aren't at peace

all the words that we said and the words that we mean
and the words can fall short, can't see the unseen.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

still, why did i ____?

walking thoughts

C2C were a blast at the carnival arts centre. 5 decks, 4 dj's, 1 british, 1 bahamian, 1 mauritian and 1 singaporean.

indian at balbir's. amazing. bombay mix.

i am reduced to one-word descriptions. need that brain right now. i'm sleeepppy.

and so she walked and walked, along the great western road, and with one long determined breath, she took in the road, the view and the air, the cool, crisp glaswegian air.. and then she looked beyond what was ahead of her, instead, a flexion of a sternocleidomastoid, and saw, by CN II, the beauty that lay beneath her, under that ancient bridge, the flow of the nature of things and the odd scene that just didn't mix, but somehow formed an amalgam of death, life, man, nature, wood, water, stone, plant.... and somehow these events were composed in her association cortex, finely dressed and put forward to her. she registered, albeit not without slight confusion and awe, of the irregularity that is in beauty, the incongrousity of life.

oddly enough

the past 3 weeks/3 years have gone by so quickly... i left the house early this morning - 8am-ish. and it was bright. and it occured to me - winter is ending.

golly, i've worked through winter without even realising it. and just to mock me further, i look up to the sky and recognise Daddy's signature in the clouds and smile, laugh even, to ourselves.. and then just when i thought that was His last laugh, i look ahead of me, and behold, the most gorgeous rainbow in a long time. arching over byres road...

water off a duck's back.. how very Clever, You made me serve you in the meanwhile!

this whole perception business... tricky one.

so... altered perceptions. i'm 22. (as of saturday) i'm past my prime, or so it seems.. so i guess this shall be the last birthday i'll celebrate... oh craiggeee, what happened to those free coloured highlighters when we were children? this whole no-parents thing for university is really making me feel OLD.

TRANSFUSION. was amazing. i'll need to elaborate more on this when i'm not this unconscious...

on a sadder note, i don't know how i deal with sticky people. the best way to turn me off is to try to hard...

it worked!

i've finally unlocked the html problem behind my blog! i'm now firefox-friendly and extremely ecstatic!

bounce bounce bounce

i'm a legend!..... i am? really? cheers dude, i'll shake my own hand too. :0)
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the day of GT planning+ is going to culminate in..... Take California... and Lemon Jelly beanie thinggies, amazing Tesco strawberry crisps, mince pork with chinese leaf and rice, and House to take care of my needs and... best of all. my carpets are clean, my clothes out to dry, clean and smelling of Ariel-type scents.. and and and and and, i get to be fueled by the buzz of the Lord and His Spirit's working in me and making me a 'legend' and hopefully, one day, a better guitar player, and hopefully, one day, a ______ . but in the meantime, my mind, flying at the speed of a thousand sparks, shall spark off another spark and lead everyone into the confusion of a break-neck thought process, sub-clinical, benign hyperglycaemic rant.

galactic bouce. i dance like a telly-tubby. everyone shout, "TRANSFUSION!"

bounce bounce... taut tummy of an irish man and dark glasses of the evil twin, bounce bounce... but really, i'm in love with God, and i'm in love with all His plans, because it is glorifying Him and it is winning souls over for Him and it's all about the Love. everybody has long hair. it's grooooovy!

what will happen if one day all the penguins fell down on the ice and a domino effect came upon and someone rolled three sixes and found out that there really was... luck isn't luck but blessings. and i love you too! muacks! and will miss you when i move on. but i still love your counsel and your wisdom, except the smell of my oily hair when you cook! and yes, ap, you have lost your mojo, but i still love you anyway! haha... see how much love! love, love love! evangelism, evangelism, evagelism... may the blood of Christ cover Glasgow University and may it awash us, like rain, like a beautiful blanket, under which, Christians stand, belted up, shield forth, standing and fighting from Glory to Glory. Amen!

dreamt it

but then just once
maybe the only ever
you came close to me
nearer than normal
nearer than words
or careless whispers
in the silence of the room.

and since we were both
unplanned, unwell, unavailable,
we let the moment
pass between us.

between furtive glances
and transient brushes by
between the split second of
a racing heart,
two hands let go.

i woke up
unexpectedly bare
from a dream
slipping through the fingers
of my recent memory.

so you're with her,
but that's ok
because i have
the dream of you and me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

i laugh. i don't know what's so funny... but everything around me seems to smile back at me, bloom for me, turn over for me. even the posters on the walls, or the gum in my mouth that resembles the bluetack in my hands.. and the people walking their dogs, or the memory of a friend, or typing the word 'home' on my pbl that rekindles my memories of a cottage house with a warm fire place and jelita and hawker food and orchard road. and even the little idiosyncracies of a new friend intrigues me, like the little flakes of snow from a flash-flood of ice. and the sun that shines and bursts forth from the snow-storm while i'm worshipping You. and the light of Your love that floods my face and the look of delight in the people i make smile and the laughter of Your children and the laughter of peace and the laughter of laughers who know better.

midway ball 2006 (gamma 2008)

men in kilts! (wheee-yoo-wheeet!)

and so i've come halfway....

the chinks.

kenny aka my mr funny!!! heeeeeeeeeee :) (see previous posts)

yup... the very endearing kenny... old-pbl mate, wardround partner and great joker who cracks me up with the littlest effort..

dougie!!!!

gotta love him! douggie's the man for the job.

dance buddies. claire.me.ruth.jean.

hip hop, rnb, capoeira, ceilidh, african.. you name it, we do it!

table 19. me.kenneth.weiyao.kenny.rosalyn.anthony.phil.

pre-ball seasians:
me.weiyao.max.kenneth.

yes... he's wearing a malaysian national costume.

transfusion of joy

"Its good to see the joy of the Lord in you. Grow in it! And know His peace.
_____
PS - thank you for saying thank you!! "


:) the importance of fellowship in the new covenant.

and this is what we've been busy with :

so busy, but keeping the buzz with the Lord.. because He gives me strength.. He gives me visions, He gives me all that I need to run this race, to run far, without losing strength, without losing breath. because morning after morning, i am satisfied by His unfailing love.

"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,

that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

May your deeds be shown to your servants,

your splendour to their children.

May the favour of the Lord our God rest upon us;

establish the work of our hands for us -

yes, establish the work of our hands."

-psalm 90:14, 16-17

amen. so be it.

ka-fei

the most amazing conversations again! having them again and again and again! my word i just can't stop talking! one minute i look and it's half 7, and the next minute, john's (not his real name) saying it's half 8 and i'm like... *spins head up and glances at watch* "WHAT??? NO FREAKING WAYY!" and he's like "that's cos we talk so well, man!" yeah we do, like, but how come we never hit it off before? that's just so weird... i've known john for like ages and we've never talked about all this before!

so the next time, we promised, would be proper and over coffee, (or cafe, as he says it - like the french) and over PROPER COFFEE instead of when we're watching films together. (oh yes, he's my new film buff friend as well) yes.. and he's got me into pink floyd and led zeppellin and the other random artistes.. and he loves my guitar compositions......(oh yes, i've started composing songs on the guitar, no lyrics though, cos i think music expresses more than my lyrics.. only because medicine has robbed me of my vocabulary, but... they can take my language, but they won't take my FREEEEEEEEE-DOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!)

Kashmir - Led Zepellin

Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen Talk of days for which they sit and wait, all will be revealed...

photos

hong kong airport, jan 06

my word. just looking back at my recent posts, i realised how little photos of PEOPLE i've actually published in dec and jan! time to remedy that.. but since i've not been taking much people photos of late, here's a blast from the past...

1st year flat parties

my only photo with a giraffe! the london zoo.

you can see why they're brothers...

awwwww... the lovely kennth.

mA lovelIES!

typically singapore. chinatown a few days before i left 05.

the photo shen wants! singapore christmas 05 @ mandarin hotel

welcome nora!

ahh! so this is what a clean room feels like!

bummed out.

now it seems no matter what i do, i can't seem to shake off how much i love this city... glasgow is so amazing, in so many ways i have never seen before. glasgow is like a shy beauty, the kind you have to take a second look at to go "WOW , you are so very lovely." and she just keeps getting better and better.

not been updating my blog of late cos i've been mega busy (what's new, you're asking).. what's new is, i've been put in charge with going out into the streets of glasgow to interview randoms! yes.. random passers-by are going to be film by yours truly in an attempt to capture the current paradigm of Christianty. all in the interest of the good people behind Glasgow Transfusion, which everyone can find out more about by going to www.transfusion.org.uk !!!

my room is utterly messy right now.. there's:

1. dry clothes waiting to be taken off the hanger

2. clean clothes waiting to be ironed.

3. bags all over the floor

4. bin waiting to be emptied

5. clean socks - to be folden and kept

6. new consignment of bloomberg snacks waiting to be stashed

best of all - i'm too busy to bother... :) life's easy when you're laid back! haha.. mom, send the maid over please!

speaking of my latest consignment, it arrived in the post today!! for the first time today, i met the postman from royal mail instead of him coming round when i'm not in. which saved me a whole 40 minute walk to the nearer depot along clarence drive.. *phew* what did not get me was the parcel from tnt, containing my black strappy heels from singapore for my ball.. hopefully that'll be re-delivered by tomorrow morning...

God has, meanwhile, been at it again, blessing me. :) i love you too! and i'll need Him all the more now that He's put Glasgow Transfusion under my care... but yes, as aaron rightfully pointed out,

"And God is able to make all grace abound

to you, so that in all things at all times,

having all that you need, you will abound

in every good work." - 2 Corinthians 9:8

my room, uninterrupted.

meanwhile, i'd like to take this opportunity to thank aaron pan for being the most amazing bloomberg employee of 2006. you're doing bloomberg proud, by spreading the bloomberg love around... :) and cheers dude, for that really encouraging letter - the bread of life together with the physical sustenaince.. i see what you've done there, even if you haven't. if you don't know by now, you're truly appreciated. and i totally didn't expect it as well, caught up in my little "busy-bubble" but yes, thanks for being around and really, just being there.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

discussion topic #1 :

do we jeopardise our future relationships by having previous relationships?

i've been told this for the second time in my life by a different person and i'm coming to realise, it just might be true.... the theory that we 'lose a bit of ourselves' with each relationship come and gone, that there is a bit of us trapped in the memories of old, with someone else, with 'memories like daggers' as kenneth so rightfully put it. and with each new relationship, there is lesser energy that can go into it, because some has been expended in the old ones... is this the sad but true fact of love in life? the fact that with more to love, there is... less love? how sad.

just when i thought

arghs.... just when i thought i was going to have to spend even more money and take even more time off my studies to meet up with nora today for drinks, she cancelled on me right when i was meant to meet her.. and so i thought i'd feel better and relieved and that this would've freed up more time for me to do the things i was meant to be doing.. but then.... i wasn't liberated, i was free to the point of indolent idleness! and i didn't like it at all! i have been, to my dismay and utter frustration at times, so busy the past week with no time for anything... rushing into lectures, having to catch my breath, coming in late for classes, leaving assignments in lockers, gobbling down breakfasts, trying to get my 8 hours, etc etc... and for once, today, i felt that there was nothing planned for the rest of my evening, and i was, instead of the relaxation i was anticipating, indifferent and unwelcoming of it!

and then, just when i thought i was going to have to get to liking this idleness and short-lived freedom, i come home from the library, all ready to sip my chamomile and blog about it, when i check my inbox for all the emails that i've deferred reading, and realise there's a new agenda for Glasgow Transfusion that's taking place and i have more work to do by this sunday!

arghs!!!! how the furrows of life tip and turn you! *pout*
meanwhile, this whole new mobile no business is quite a pain as well, why are they taking so long to grant me my free 300 texts??? don't they know i've a textaholic and this abstinence is driving me mad???

since when were we defined by the amount of things we have got planned and how much contact we make with people... since when did the number of texts/calls we receive a day define us? since when did we seek solace in these things - time/communication with people? but then, you ask, why not? God created people for Himself, but i believe He also created people for people... but it's when you base all your solace and all your hopes and all your faith in people that you're screwed. because the moment we rest our faith in men is the moment we will be sadly let down. which is exactly why i place all my trust in God. :)